The Life and Times of Darren Goad

Bourne, Cinderella, Hansel & Gretel

2011-01-11T10:00:00.001Z

The holiday season always affords a plethora of light cheerful family oriented entertainment. Local and international stars always find their way into a regional panto of some sort. Joan Collins is somewhere being Joan and David Hasslehoff is Hooking it up in Peter Pan. Cross gender casting is totally acceptable or rather expected, as is children rushing the stage and a mandatory audience sing-along. For non Brits it is sometimes hard to understand why you would subject yourself to theatrical standards that any other time of year would be booed off the stage. However, in the spirit of Christmas, you can forgive the Panto Dame from laughing at him er... Herself.

What's even more intriguing is continuing this through the first week of January. My yearly venture was just slightly close to the genre last week when I saw Kneehigh Theatre Company's take on Hansel and Gretel. The Southbank Centre always tries to posh it up a bit with their Xmas fare. I first discovered Kneehigh at the National with Tristan and Ysolde. I fell in love! Dark story telling with humour, passion, cabaret and a bit of irreverence toward the traditional take of the story.

H&G had all the gender bending and sing along (the audience was requested to stand and sing Oh Canada) and almost "it's behind you". But the twisted delight of the show exemplified it self as rabbit puppets found themselves constantly being shot or flayed. Not your typical panto. Parents were warned that some children were finding it a bit disturbing. Who knew?

The other tradition of Christmas is the seasonal "ballet" at Sadler's Wells. For the last decade Matthew Bourne has given us his take on something. Whether it be Swan Lake with male swans or an upgraded and modernised Nutcracker, Bourne always knows how to subvert the status-quo while lulling us into believing we are getting just what we expected.

This year, in Matthew Bourne's Cinderella, our downtrodden maid finds her Fighter Pilot, with the aid of her "angel" in London during the Blitz. The ball where the shoe drops is actually a night at the Cafe de Paris on the night it's hit by a bomb. Heart-wrenching as it is, Borne gives enough of the faerie tale to lead our hearts and a he is a master storyteller enough that we willingly follow where ever that incredulous tale takes us.

Typical ballet this is not. Nor is it modern dance. It is classic with modern twists, and modern with traditional flair. For ballet purists, he is a charlatan, but he must be given some credit - his ever growing following has ensured sell out seasons for years.

My year in Theatre Pt. 1

2011-01-05T18:01:00.002Z

One of the biggest blessings I have living in London, is that it is the Theatre Capital of the World. On top of being the most cosmopolitan city with more cultures and languages conglomerated in one spot, where else can you see mainstream and fringe theatre abounding in one place?

So, feeling the need to assess what I did over the last year, I thought I would take a look at all those ticket stubs I've collected. My stolen pint glass is brimming with some brilliant memories and utter catastrophes… Here ya go! 2010 in a nutshell:

Jerusalem (The Apollo) Mark Rylance's Olivier Winning and stunning turn as trailer-trash transferred from the Royal Court. Difficult to watch as a train wreck, it was impossible to turn away. Rylance has a versatile skill to make him unrecognisable from Becket's Endgame, Prospero at the Globe and comic timid oaf in Boeing Boeing. Truly one of this generation's greats.

Nation (National Theatre – Olivier) The Terry Pratchett penned tale should have been much better than it was. A shame, because I love reading the Discworld novels by Pratchett. A Victorian explorer loses his daughter on a South Pacific Island… Biggest Blunder: Non-Victorian or Island music

Every Good Boy Deserves Favour (National Theatre – Lyttleton) My next outing at the NT was decidedly much better. Tom Stoppard's "play for actors and orchestra" was revived to great acclaim using music to convey a mental state… hmmm… it actually works.

Jersey Boys (Prince Edward) It's been around a while so I took my time getting in. Pricey tickets and all… But, it was worth it. The only thing I knew about Frankie Valley was that he sang the title song in Grease. Musical docudrama with the back catalogue of the Four Seasons. I understand why it won the Olivier and the Tony

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Novello) When this cast was announced I nearly jumped on a plane to New York to see James Earl Jones, Phylicia Rashad and Adrian Lester (Thanks to the dis-credit scrunch I didn't). But, thankfully, it did a limited season here in London to rave reviews. Truly some of the best acting I have ever seen from it's stars and phenomenal supporting cast. AND the voice of Darth Vader swearing! I had to secretly chuckle.

Dunsinane (Hampstead) Co-produced by the Royal Shakespeare Company and the Royal Theatre of Scotland. It's getting it's Stratford run later this spring. Post Macbeth, the English are trying to restore peace amidst guerrilla warfare – but not very well. Can't remember much about it other than it seemed very relevant to Afghanistan… oh… and it was very long but the set was rather inventive.

The Little Dog Laughed (Garrick) Nice little piece off the Hollywood closet. Sweet moments with Rupert Friend and Harry Lloyd. Bond-Girl Gemma Arterton plays it rough, but Tamsin Grieg wins the trophy as a Lesbian Agent trying to keep her client in the closet. Fun evening but nothing really to write mum about.

Really Old, Like Forty Five (National Theatre – Cottesloe) A difficult and emotional piece of a family dealing with Alzheimer's. It could have been really that good, or maybe I was just too close to the subject matter to be objective. Not quite sure.

Power of Yes (National Theatre – Lyttleton) David Hare always has a way of making the epic catastrophes of modern society accessible to laymen. Power of Yes explored the whys and wherefores of the Financial crisis. Not an emotional play, but intriguing non the less.

PSY (Peacock) Seven Fingers, a Canadian acrobatic team first came on the scene with their Traces, which was basically a showcase of their fantastic skills. PSY, however sought to explore psychological disorders through the relationship of circus skills. Very funny at times, entertaining and more often than not – moving.

The Habit of Art (National Theatre – Lyttleton) When I first saw The History Boys, I instantly understood why Alan Bennett is one of Britain's living treasures. Witty, poignant, self-effacing and spot on, he hits the under-dog human condition with such precision that even the hardest of hearts has to take pause. Thus, with The Habit of Art, the play with-in a play dealing with the relationship between W.E. Auden and Benjamin Britten, Bennett is capable to humanise legends to make them more accessible. And any time you can have Richard Griffiths, Alex Jennings and Frances de la Tour on one stage, you know you're going to have a laugh or six.

Studies for a Portrait (King's Head) With all the tabloid press going on about May-December relationships being just being about a young gold digger taking advantage of someone with status and cash, it's hard to not be cynical about any relationship that is not quite equally matched. However, Daniel Reitz’ play about a wealthy and dying Warhol contemporary artist and his young lover, shakes loose those stereotypes and poses the thought, that it might actually be just about love.

Legally Blonde, The Musical (Savoy) So, I loved the film and was a bit sceptical about the transfer to stage. Few succeed. Typically, stage first then film… So when the stalls and balcony are filled to the brim with hen parties I was even more shocked when I actually liked it. Only one particularly memorable song, but a multitude of laughs.

Counted (County Hall) Verbatim theatre is difficult to pull off. I know, because I've done it. The play about democracy in Britain was educational but not moving. Thought provoking but not really enough to prod one into politics.

Llwyth (Oval House) I am very proud to say that the author of this amazing mostly Welsh language play is a friend of mine, Dafydd James. Llwyth (The Tribe in English) was commissioned by Sherman Cymru in Cardiff. On the last leg of its national tour it stopped by London at the Oval House. The story of four gay friends of varying age on a night out in Cardiff tells the deeper meaning of creating your own family when the need arises. Half way through the play the sur-titles went out. Didn't really matter because the relationships were so strong. Even more meaningful for me was the fact I recognised several conversations I had with Daf on one or more of our late nights trolling around the clubs of London.

To be continued...

A Queen of the Dessert....Still

2011-01-05T00:34:00.000Z

The first theatrical event of the new year was something that I should have seen a long time ago. I kept putting it off because of ticket prices. I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to sitting in the balcony. Never sit in the "gods" unless there is a Dame or Sir on stage or if it is at the Royal Opera House where a seat in the stalls will pay for two weeks rent. But, tonight's show in the stalls was curtesy of holiday low sales in the west end. Still, it was £35 to sit all the way to the wall almost behind a pole.

But I digress. If I had known just how spectacular and utterly moving Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert, the Musical would be I would have shelled out the hundred quid for a premium seat a long time ago.

Three drag queens set off in a bus from Sydney Australia to Alice Springs 2,000km (1,200miles) away. Beset with their own bitchiness and more than a few homophobes, they land to "Put on a Show". Being the sentimental homo I am, you can only expect that I wasn't dry-eyed throughout the evening. From the first echoes of loneliness, longing to fit in and finding true love AND finding true purpose, it is a roller coaster of emotion. The really tear jerker when Tick sings a duet of "You Are Always On My Mind" with his six year old son, he as just recently met. Joy, however is the pervading sentiment. All the big gay anthems make their way accross the stage - "Go West", "Downtown", "I will Survive", "Hot Stuff" and even "Thank God I'm a Country Boy".

The same team that saw the film win all the awards including the BAFTA, Oscar and Australia's equivalent for outrageous costume design brought it to the stage. If you even just liked the film, then you'll love the stage version.

If you think it's all just a bunch o' poofters parading around in dresses, then (at the risk of being vulgar) light your ***** on fire and blow your *** apart, because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get!

Joy in the Journey

2010-10-29T18:54:00.000+01:00

Have you ever noticed that sometimes life just gets in the way of, well, Living Life? I have had a very busy several months - designing and producing another shop window - gettting the school ready for opening two weeks ago - and looking for a new place to live And work.

It gets really, really... no REALLY hectic. I forget that life is not just looking forward to the future, but it is actually happening right now. I was walking briskly across the common today with my head down with all the things I have on my mind. But I just happened to look up and see the huge oak trees that line the boulevard. They are in the midst of their autumn turn. It was amazingly beautiful. Then I saw all the children running and playing on half-term. They were running as if there wasn't a care in the world. The joggers and dog-walkers all enjoying the common.

Life is happening right now. If I'm not careful I may miss it.

Something I wrote a while back - Enjoy

When Will it Stop?

2010-10-21T13:00:00.001+01:00

I suppose that as long as there are humans left breathing on this earth, there will be countless reasons that youth will take their own lives. Another teen has killed himself over not being able to deal with the bullying he received for being gay.

Corey Jackson of Rochester Hills Michigan died this last Tuesday. I grieve for him and I grieve for his family. But I am angry that anyone, anywhere feels that they have the right to bully anyone. There is no need for this.

Unfortunately, I am not surprised. The Department of Justice continually fighting the DADT injunction - which has now been reversed by the courts - and entire States going to battle against Marriage Equality, it's no wonder that our young feel like even the government does not support them. AND when you have mainstream religious leaders spouting vitriol from the pulpit blaming victims of bullying and not the perpetrators, what else is anyone supposed to think?

It must stop. Even if you do not agree that being gay is ok, you do have the power to stop the hateful rhetoric that is so incredibly prevelent.

Birthday Number Two and ...er... Three or How I Made Peace with God

2010-10-20T13:20:00.000+01:00

Several days ago, I posted probably the most widely read post I've ever written. It was in response to all of the teen suicides I have been reading about. I told my story of my own thoughts of suicide. Tonight is that special aniversary for me. It was 18 years ago tonight that I contemplated that, for lack of a better word, Life altering decision.

Two days ago I turned 42. It does not seem like a very profound number. 43, 44 or even 45 or 46. 45 maybe have some significance. 40 was awful. 41 was awful plus 1. But 42... just another year to chalk up to something...what ever it may be. But how about 18? It is a rather profound year for me. 18, back in the day was when it became legal for me to drink. Yes... I'm that old. I was 18 before the legal drinking age in the USA was changed to 21. All these numbers flying about and none of them really mean anything except 18. At 18, I could drink, I could vote, I could be drafted into the army. But non of those 18's mean a hell of a lot to me. This 18 does. As posted previously, it was 18 years ago that I chose life. I chose life over killing myself by shooting myself in the head. Pretty thoughts.   I have a theory that most people live their lives on a default settting. Like a computer you turn it on, it runs and that is what it does. Everyone lives because that is what we, as human beings are meant to do. Live.

My theory is that very few of us actually choose life. I am extremely grateful that I did indeed, choose life. It was an excruciating decision to make. And no matter how hard life has been or how beautiful life will be, I have never looked back. I will choose life over what ever the alternatives, or consequences shall be.

But today has anoter very significant meaning to me. 16. Yes, it is my 16th birthday in a matter of speaking. Not the magical age in America where you now can drivce - but something much more important - How I made peace with God. Now this is where those of my friends and readers of a nervous, conservative dispositions may want to bow out of our quaint little conversations - lest you become disheartened by my liberal tendencies... because we may diverge theologically. If you want to maintain a sense that we agree... stop reading here. Oh, and there might be some swearing involved as well.

You see, after I saw it was clear that I should not be a missionary, doing drama ministry and thus seeing that I had no use for a masters degree in said drama ministry I was very much at a loss. I went to one of my beloved professors at ACU and asked him point blank..."God told me to do this and now that option is no longer on the table... What the hell am I supposed to do?" Master Andre asked me a simple but life altering question - "If you could go anywhere in the world and just listen to God... where would it be?"

"London" was my reply. "Do it!" was his. So, I up and moved to London at 25 years old to "listen to God". But, at the time, all I could hear was silence. Dealing with my sexuality was, at the least - gut-wrenchingly savage and at the most, life-altering profound. I would walk around Regent's Park begging and screaming at God to talk to me. Begging God to answer me! Give me the answers I was looking for. Looking back at it, I could hear God. But He was saying..."Darren... You're Gay".

I could not believe it. So I ran screaming home to the States to try to stay straight. After a series of moves, I found myself in Dallas, TX. My thought was that all of my ACU friends could help me "Stay Straight". They were in fact extremely supportive. They would counsel me, pray with me, hold me and cry with me. All the while, even though I had chosen life, I was praying that God would just end it for me. To make an already long story shorter, I had been getting professional help from a therapist that dealt in the ex-gay movement.  The problem lay in the fact that my double life was killing me. He gave me an ultimatum saying that if I really would want to stay straight I had to quit doing the things I was doing - that there was nothing he could do to help. It had now been two years of daily dealing with absolute turmoil. The revelation hit me very hard.

As I drove home that night, once again sobbing and screaming at God, I was at last resigned. Fuck it! was all I could think.  That very moment, I said no more closet. No more lying. No more denying who I was, who I am and who God meant me to be. If God was the God I had always been taught about, a God of Love, Compassion, Forgiveness, then how could he possibly send me to hell for being who he made me to be?

There was a belated surprise birthday party waiting for me when I got home. The timing could not have been worse. The birthday presents were prayers offered around me that God would sooth my soul. Guess what...it worked. The next Sunday, I was able to sing and pray with absolute joy. The first time I could sing with out crying in over two years had finally arrived. I could worship without feeling the total hypocrit. I could now look at God with respect, love and hope. While I know that everyone who reads this does not aggree with the theology and choices I have made nor the conclusions that I have come to. But know this - 16 years ago tonight, I made peace with God. After all, no one can answer for me, nor can I answer for anyone else. God and I are find. It is my Birthday all over again. Sweet 16.

A Gentle Punch in the Nose

2010-10-19T10:25:00.000+01:00

Well, maybe not so gentle - but a punch that is well deserved. I ran across this article today and can not agree with it more. It hurts because it is true. It really is a punch in the nose begging us to wake up. Please read the article by The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, the Ninth Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire.

How Religion is Killing Our Most Vulnerable Youth

I believe that it is true because it almost killed me.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2010-10-18T18:30:00.000+01:00

They always say "Be careful what you wish for". It is true.

Many years ago, on this day 18 October, my parents took me to see the - don't laugh -IceCapades to celebrate my birthday. I must have been five or six. Among the many images from that night in the Denver Coliseum was an epic tale of speed skating Samurai Warriors battling spinning and twirling Warlords and for love and land. There was an incredibly ornate bridge in the middle of the ice. Two lovers were being pulled apart by the waring factions. The climax happened when the bridge exploded and crumbled to the ground.

My artistic side spent the next several weeks trying to build this bridge in our den out of chairs and bits of scrap wood and pillows. I wanted to re-live that amazing extraordinary moment. Over the years I saw more amazing spectacles, which no doubt have influenced my creative life. But more importantly about that night it was the beginning of my prayer... I want to live an extraordinary life.

Life has brought me some absolutely amazing moments. I have indeed been blessed with a life that I could have never dreamed of. I have been able to travel a great deal. I have been paid to do what I love. I act, I teach, I create, I build. I have met some brilliant shining people. I have experienced love from all directions.

It is in fact not the life that I had imagined. To some extent it has been filled with much more pain and suffering than I had hoped for. Extraordinary does not always mean pleasant. Or easy. Or even desirable. An extraordinary life is certainly not always fun. But what I have come to realise over the last 42 years, is that, as difficult has it has been at moments, I would not have been able to experience those moments of sheer joy and love and unparalleled spectacle in my life if I had not gone through the depths.

While I may have wished some calmer seas at times, the mountain is made that much higher with the valley going before it.

So....Happy Birthday to me... and blessings to you that wish to live extraordinary lives.

Sometimes God's Love Isn't Enough

2010-10-09T01:04:00.000+01:00

Got your attention didn't I?

All of my life I grew up hearing that God is Love... Now I left the organised religion factor a long time ago. If you read my last post then you'll know why. But that is not to say I am not a spiritual person and that I do not believe in God. I do. In fact, I do believe that God is Love. Even more, I believe that if we love, then God is within us. So...Why would I say God's love isn't enough?

I get so sick of hearing people - well meaning people - spout on about how if we would all just "embrace God's love then everything will be OK". To a believer, that may be all well and good - to someone who knows the ins-and-outs of the bible, it may come easier for them. But I ask you this....What about the kid that is struggling with being gay? What about the outsider that is feeling crap about themselves? What about the teen getting bullied from all sides at school?

Yes, they probably need to know somewhere down inside that God does love them. But to your average non-believer God seems irrelevant. They are being dealt daily blows that shake their very core. To the kid that has just been spat upon knowing that God loves them just doesn't cut it.

What they need to hear is that somebody loves them. You. A flesh and blood person. Someone they can touch. Someone they can talk to. Someone they can confide in. God may love them, but sometimes touching the tangible is needed before touching by faith.

The Night I Considered Suicide

2010-10-04T16:48:00.007+01:00

If you did not know before now, you are about to find out that I am gay. To most, this is never a great revelation. To some, however, knowing me from my youth and knowing I was raised in a very conservative denomination - the Church of Christ - this might have some element of surprise. But, if you have met me anytime since 1995 you know that I have nothing to hide and therefore have no astonishment.

I'm feeling compelled to write and publish this because of the rash of teen suicides over the past few weeks - all relating to gay bullying.

For many hours on the evening of the 20th of October 1992 - two days after my 24th birthday - I sat on the back porch trying to decide whether or not to pull the trigger. Yes I, Darren Goad, contemplated suicide. I literally sat weighing the pros and cons of what it would mean if I shot myself in the head. It was Abilene, TX after all and access to any type of gun was easy. I had the means. The only thing was to decide if I had motive.

I was in graduate school at Abilene Christian University, living with my two best friends. We called our little group the Three Lonely Guys. As it happened, I was the only one who was lonely. One friend was in fact engaged to be married to an absolutely beautiful girl. The other was rarely single and if he was, there was always a long procession of eligible women waiting for a date. It wasn't that there was an absence of women that wanted to date me. In fact I had had several offers that summer and in the years prior. I even had one camp out in her car in front of my house on several occasions. But I was lonely. I was not getting the emotional fulfilment in life that I saw everyone else getting. Aside from being a world class institution ACU is a marriage factory. But is just wasn't working for me.

On the outside, I had everything going for me. I had received my undergraduate degree in Theatre from ACU. I was working part time as a shop foreman at the university's theatre. I was working on my masters in Theatre Ministry. I was working part time as a worship/drama minister at a very up-and-coming church. I was involved with a group of people going to be missionaries and they wanted me to be a part of their team. I was in a fraternity that anyone of it's members would have taken a bullet for a brother. I had a family who loved me - that was never in doubt – and I had friends who loved me. I was a leader and had been for many years. People looked up to me. I had status.

Now, I wasn't bullied in university, but it was very clear from church doctrine that homosexuality was unacceptable. I feared hell. I feared damnation. I feared AIDS. Several students I knew that had "strayed" had died rather horribly painful deaths. Scandals had ripped through the theatre my freshman year, devastating all involved due to expulsion and stigma. It seemed that homosexuality was the one unforgivable sin which outweighed suicide.

But during my undergraduate years, I was in such emotional turmoil that I cried a great deal - in private and a unfortunately, a lot in public. My friends, God bless 'em, put up with more crying from me than I'm sure that they've heard from the children that they have since had. I would cry myself to sleep because I did not feel that the love I had for my friends was being reciprocated to the degree I wanted or needed.

It all came boiling up in October of 1992. For weeks I had been dealing with something so horrible and heinous that it seemed insurmountable, devastating and all consuming that killing myself to escape was an extremely viable option. In the weeks prior, I had been to a church conference with young missionary a few years older than I was. We had just met. As we drove to Dallas from Abilene I asked him what prompted his return from the mission field in Eastern Europe. His reply was that he could "no longer run".

Somehow, those words were the cannonball that crashed through the wall that was my own self denial. I knew immediately what he was talking about. Suddenly I was talking and spilling forth confessions of feelings and desires that I desperately wanted to control. Yet control this I could not. I suddenly came face to face with what was the real problem.

Looking back over my life I suppose I knew I was "different" from the age of four. I remember having a crush on several of the boys in kindergarten and even had a crush on Elroy Jetson. And somehow it was clear that boys do not have crushes on boys. The bullying I endured in elementary and junior-high school was due to the fact that I was weaker than most boys. I hated sports. I refused to fight anyone and it was easy to make me cry. Yes, I was called queer and faggot more times that I can remember. I loved music and theatre. In high-school I was a Band-fag, Drama-Fag and Choir-Queer. I looked up to the boys, but due to the name calling I avoided any appearance of attraction. All this did was make me withdraw my personality deeper inside. Even with all of this, acceptance of the word Gay for myself never entered the picture.

Gays were just not part of my life, or so I thought. Until my senior year in high-school when I got a job as an usher at the local summer-stock theatre, I had never met a gay person. There, they seemed to be all the undesirable stereotypes that even I laughed at. Or ran from.

All I knew was that something was wrong. I repressed and buried these thoughts and feelings so deep that I didn't really recognise it until I was 23 years old - until that fateful car trip to Dallas. I suddenly realised that I was attracted to men and had been all of my life. The total number of girlfriends tops out at four – one of which I actually bought a diamond ring. I was more in love with Musical Theatre than the idea of dating. The sight of breasts did absolutely nothing for me.

Through High-School, I preferred to spend time with my best friend than anyone. In college I found the emotional stability and comfort of men more appealing. I was fighting constant battles in my head. I would convulse with fear anytime a man would hug me. To most non-Christian University goers this isn't a problem. But ACU is quite known for it's affectionate displays. My fraternity was the "touchy-feely" one, I would nearly collapse when a frat brother would put his hand on my shoulder. It wasn't a fear of sexual response, but sheer, raw emotion that I did not know how to control. I wanted to be held and taken care of – but I could not express this.

But after the flood-gate opened I realised the real problem lay in the fact that I could not reconcile what was going on in my heart with what I thought God and the Church were saying. I could not fathom how this could have happened to me. How could something so part of my being for my entire life be a sin? But how could the Church be wrong?

So, there I sat. Hoping beyond hope that my house mates would not come home early. Through the tears, more sobs than misty eyes, I made a list of the Pros and Cons:

The Pros:
I would no longer be different than anyone else.
I would no longer cry myself to sleep.
I would no longer wonder why I could not have the relationship I wanted.
I would no longer wonder "if" I was going to Hell, I would know.
I would no longer question why God made me this way.
I would no longer be punished for thinking such horrid thoughts.
I would no longer fear dying a horrible and painful death.

The Cons:
What if I missed and lived and became a vegetable – I had never fired a gun before
It would hurt my mother.
I was afraid of Hell.
I was afraid to die.

Though few, the con's won out over the benefits of no longer living. I couldn't bear to think of what my mother would go through having had a son commit suicide. Looking back, I think something inside me actually made me think that life get's better. With the gut wrenching torment that I was going through I was convinced that somehow, some way it would get better. Perhaps it was the memory of some wise person whispering in my ear that it would get better. What ever that spark was, it saved my life.

The struggle lasted for another two years with many more nights of gut-wrenching sobs until I finally said no more closet – that in itself is another long story. But I accepted who I am and what I was. Even after that, the struggle continued. I left the ministry, I was asked to leave the Church, a prominent Dallas minister threatened to out me to my parents, I lost many, many friends and nearly lost my family.

But over the past 18 years my understanding of God's love has changed and my fear of Hell has vanished. My relationship with my parents is the strongest it has ever been. I have a career I love, with students I cherish - one even calls me Maestro. I am proud of who I am. The bullies and the condemers do not hold any sway over me now.

I stand before you as a gay man totally at peace with God. I repeat: I am at peace with God. I'm not here to debate the political or scriptural ramifications of homosexuality. Whether or not you believe it is a sin to be gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender is not the point. The point is that teens all over America, Britain and the world are dying by their own hands because of their – real or perceived – sexual orientation.

It is unacceptable that schools are ignoring bullying by saying that if the victim only would change their behaviour then the bullying would stop. It is unacceptable that parents allow their children to make fun of other children. It is unacceptable that the use of derogatory words is main stream in music. It is unacceptable that churches constantly spout anti-gay rhetoric. We must stop this. We must take action. We must stop and tell all children that life is worth living. Tell them that there is a way through this. Life does get better.

In a couple of weeks I will celebrate my 42nd birthday. Two days after that, I will celebrate a second birthday. It will be 18 years to the day that I decided not to pull the trigger and I chose life.

Unfortunately for Seth Walsh, Tyler Clementi, Billy Lucas, Asher Brown and countless other teens and young people who have taken their own life because they were bullied, told that they were worthless or told they would be forever in Hell it is too late. To someone that you know, it is not. Tell them it is ok. Tell them life does get better. Tell them – Choose Life.

-----------------------

If you know of someone that is young and questioning please give them these links:

The It Gets Better Project - http://www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject

In the UK: The Samaritans - http://www.samaritans.org/?gclid=CL_285HJuaQCFU8_4wodQnmYzg

In the US: The Trevor Project - http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Autumn Windows

2009-11-06T13:07:00.006Z

I thought I would share my latest window project with you. I started building this the week before I went to the States and then spent two more weeks when I returned. I then installed it mid-October. As with any project, there are always things that you could continue to fix and refine, but I have to say, I am very proud of this one.

My Current Addictions

2009-10-13T08:13:00.004+01:00

1. While I was back in the states, my parents gave me an early birthday present. An Ipod Touch. I can't seem to put it down.... Totally addicted. My four-year-old Ipod Mini died a year ago and I've been going through music withdrawals. The Touch is beyond compare. Applications galore! My current Fav is Ragdoll Blaster. Makes me laugh out loud on the tube... Shooting rag dolls out of a cannon at red targets. What's not to love.

2. I've always been a fan of Altoids. But, while I was in Denver, I discovered that new category of Curiously Strong Mints - the green boxed Creme de Menthe. I have to be careful, however, because even though they originals are produced here in the UK, they are impossible to find here. Only in the States. Thus, frugality with the Altoid popping.

3. Perhaps the best (or worst - depending on how you look at it) obsession is the Facebook application Farmville. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. Planting your own garden and raising your own virtual animals and tending your own orchards... what's not to love. Currently on level nine... I'm sticking around long enough until I can get a baby elephant. Addicted as I am to this... I don't think I will ever match Mr. McShaffrey's Level 32 or Mr. Beam's 1,078,163 coins.

Home - then Home again.

2009-10-10T12:58:00.006+01:00

Well. I just got back home from visiting home. Three weeks away from my life here in London back to the wondrous Mile Hi city of Denver. I think I've often quoted the axiom "You can never really go home"...

Visiting my parents was fantastic. They seem to be doing well despite the Alzheimer's and chaos that includes. My father is still in the mild state and is still very functional. I did however spend many many many hours re-living the same stories. But, it truely is better than the alternative.

As you can see from previous posts, I started going through all the family photos. Scanning them. Archiving them. And putting them in albums for my mom and dad. It was fantastic to see. But, they did seem to be multiplying faster than I could deal with them. I'd go looking through closets and drawers only to find just one more box of photos. The great thing, is that both my parents were there to identify the person, place and thing in most all of them. I started out doing this for my parents. So that we could write down who these people were before they were lost with the memories. But. Truely. I am the one who was blessed and still being blessed by the experience.

I never knew my father's parents, nor my mother's grand-parents. But the families have a long and rich history that is deeply moving. As my father's short-term memory is getting shorter, his ability to recall events from 70 years ago is astounding and in the process, I get to meet those grand-parents I never knew.

Denver is a great place to visit. Some of my best friends in the world are there and it was fantastic to catch up and occasionally meet some new people. It was wonderful to see the old haunts and of course... eat lots and lots of Mexican food. But. Yes, there is a But. I am home now in London. My city. My home. As difficult as it is to live here, I am exactly where I want to be. As time progresses, I must return to Denver more often, but as my parent's legacy has taken them from Texas to New Mexico to Colorado... Mine is here. London.

Where is Your Honour?

2009-10-04T06:17:00.004+01:00

I am furious, fuming, outraged and down right ticked off. Someone has just left an anonymous comment on a post that I wrote quite a while ago. It was about a very dear friend who had passed away. This comment made serious accusations about my friend while, not surprisingly, leaving the details out. Strangely, they were made interlaced with compliments.

Luckily, I, as the author of this blog, have the right to publish or reject comments made on my blog. Now, as I try to figure out what this is all about, I ask myself first... Why on earth would I publish this comment when no evidence was given? All the years I knew this man, nothing of this ever reached me. I could have been naive, or just clueless, but I will not add fire to tabloid disgrace.

I'm left with the question, why leave an anonymous comment? Why hide behind a mask and not be willing to show your face. All I see is cowardice and malice. When gossip like this comes from an anonymous source, all reliability and credibility is shattered and nothing but disdain for their author is left.

If you are willing to spread gossip, slander or lies and hide while doing so, then you are nothing more than a viper that feeds upon your own ego. If you are telling the truth, with evidence in hand, then at least have the dignity and honour to show your face.

But...if I knew the identity of the accuser, would I publish the comment? Absolutely not. Why? Because the man is dead.. A dear friend is dead. He was loved by many, many, many people. He was one of the most generous, caring and patient people I have ever known.

One last thing... If I knew that the said accusations were true, would I publish the comment? Probably not. Not because I would want to hide the truth, or spare someone justice, but because I would not have written about how much I was moved, affected and blessed by this man in the first place.

The Past is Coming to Life

2009-09-26T14:51:00.005+01:00

So... I've been digging through thousands of family photos this past week. I've become the unofficial family archivist. I thought I would share a few of the best!

Me on my first birthday

Me on my first day of Pre-School at age 3

My sophomore year in High-School

My Senior Picture

Last Days of Summer

2009-09-22T14:36:00.003+01:00

I've been back home in Colorado visiting my parents since Wednesday of last week. It has been fantastic to see them and catch up. More on that later. But... on Saturday, we drove up into the mountains to look at the changing leaves. It was gorgeous. We started to drive up to St. Mary's Glacier, but got only about half-way up as the car started to heat up (Dad had to put in in the shop yesterday). However, we did get to see some amazing colours and scenery. Thought I'd share some.

Summer Window

2009-09-17T18:47:00.004+01:00

This is the window that I designed and built for the Summer for John Lobb. It took a week longer to build than anticipated. Each of the Zeplins have been carved out of polystyrene blocks, then sanded, then plastered, then sanded, then painted then silver-leafing applied. I felt like I was sanding for days. Truth be told, I wish I had another week as they could have been sanded several more times.

Spring Window Design

2009-09-17T16:50:00.006+01:00

Over the last nine months or so, I've started doing some window displays for a shoe store in London. John Lobb - the gentleman's boot-maker located in Piccadilly. I thought I would share some of the pictures...

Story Telling

2009-01-31T18:32:00.002Z

Last night I had the wonderful experience of participating in a story telling night. My partner in my company Zephyrus Theatre Company, Jen has formed her own company, called Infectious. The event last night was its inaugural event. She brought together five performers to present stories to a small audience at Calder's Bookshop Theatre.

As an experiment for me, I read some of my poetry. I chose several of the sections from my series The Village. Afterwards we had a great discussion about the future of the story telling events. Very educational and inspiring. I recieved some great feedback on my work. Overall, I would call the event a great success.

The Willow Cries for Me

2009-01-27T16:18:00.000Z

The willow cries for me
but it needn't waste the tears,
content am I to revel
within its weeping bower.

Boughs of swaying shelter
caress the ground about me
offering a curtain
from all ....

Read the complete Poem

Complete list of my poetry here

Shall We Sing This Wondrous Life

2009-01-21T23:09:00.003Z

This is my latest published work.

Life is good, even with the ups and downs. Part of the colletion "the time is now..."

Shall we sing to love's fair glory
or of youth's splendid zeal,
or shall we sing the hero's story,
or chant of death's wicked peel?

To read the rest

If you are interested in more of my poetry please check out my Authspot Page.

Spreading my self thin - or Multi-tasking? Not!

2009-01-15T23:47:00.002Z

What do you do when your creative energies are rather diverse? Unfortunately for me, it usually means that one or many things falls by the wayside for a while, or in the case of this blog, for quite a while.

Multi-tasking is a great skill to have. When it comes to individual projects, I am great with juggling more than one thing with in that project. But it seems that I can only handle two projects at a time - maximum three. While I was going to school at LISPA, I was very focused on it and the Blog. When I left School I was focused on the Blog and getting back to London. Most of the last year it my two tasks have been Work and my show, Zephyrus Dreams. When the show took a break it was Work and rest. Then I lost my Job, so it was Look for Job and my latest creative endeavour - Writing and publishing poetry. So... sad to say, my blog has been neglected for quite some time.

I'm not sure actually if anyone has particularly noticed. I'm going to try to do better. Maybe gain some balance back to my life.

Who knows... we'll give it a go.

Prop. 8 - The Musical

2008-12-03T17:24:00.002Z

Ok. So. If you get offended easily or think I'm going to hell for who God made me to be:

Don't click this link. Prop 8 - The Musical

The Better Man

2008-11-18T11:22:00.000Z

Here is yesterday's offering:

The Better Man

The Forge

2008-11-17T16:39:00.002Z

Here is another one of my pieces. Check it out.

The Forge

Let me know what you think.

Some New Writing

2008-11-14T09:20:00.003Z

Here are some of my latest writings that have been published

Anti-Solicitude I
The Rain
The Recipe Club
Love So Green

For a list of all of my poetry check out Authspot - Darren Goad

Michael D. Mitchell - 1940 - 2008

2008-11-13T15:24:00.009Z

I received quite a shock yesterday morning. I had been thinking that I needed to get in touch with an old friend. I had lost his phone number and didn't have a correct email. So I went to his company website only to find a memorial page. Michael had passed away back in September of cancer. I have been very sad that the world has lost such a great man and extremely regretful that I had lost touch.

The first time I met Michael was in an audition for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat for the Phoenix Theatre back in 1997. I didn't get the part but I did land the job of Prop designer for the season. Shortly after that audition, my boyfriend dumped me and I was heartbroken. That's when Michael became a dear friend. He was much more than a friend - He became a confidant and mentor over the next two years. During he build of Joseph, he would listen to my grief, console me when it was appropriate and more often than not, kick my tail when I needed it.

I'm sure a one time or another, he fancied me. I knew his taste for younger men - and he was an incorrigible flirt. But he was always a gentleman and he knew that I needed something different than a lover.

He cast me in his next production of Ghetto. It was when I discovered what an amazing director he was. He won the Arizona award for Best Direction that year. I was astonished to see the things he pulled out of actors.

For that production, I had to figure out a way to hang three characters on stage (myself being one of them). I wasn't about to put a rope around my neck. So, I made wooden dummies that stood upright until the stool was kicked out and then they flopped and dangled. I brought Michael down to the shop to see the prototype. It was all set up with a hood over its head and a noose around its neck. I kicked the stool and it "died". The look of shock that immediately turned to joy was amazing. He was so delighted that he was jumping around the shop with his signature giggle. He was so pleased that he rounded up the entire staff to witness another "hanging". Prop designers are a dime a dozen, but Michael always made me feel as if I were the best of them all.

Over the next two years we spent time together in and out of the theatre. Always talking about shows or boys or relationships or troubles with my parents or his dog. The next season brought West Side Story. I was cast as Gladhand. The most unglamourous role in theatre. I think he was testing me. Earlier that year I had gone to New York and had seen Never the Sinner by John Logan, a friend of Michael's. I thought it was brilliant. I told Michael that I would do anything to do it someday. About five months later he announced it as part of our season. Opening night of West Side, he pulled me aside and said "I don't have a gift for you, but would you like to play in Sinner?" It became one of my best experiences with a director and cast of my entire career. Oh we revelled in the controversy and Michael was pleased as punch when the little old couple stormed out at the end of act one screaming "They're committing a murder in there!" This time - there wasn't even a body. He had created it all out of air!

Michael then moved to Lancaster Pennsylvania to be come the Artistic Director of the Fulton Opera House. I moved to Chicago three months later. Our time in Phoenix was done. We spoke on the telephone every so often, but he was busy building a great theatre into an even better one and I was building a career in Chicago. Several years later I asked Michael to write a letter of recommendation for me to go to grad-school in London. It must have been glowing as I was accepted.

The last time I saw him was the very week I started school at LISPA in London. He was heading a tour of Pennsylvanians on a weeks theatre jaunt. We had tea at the National Portrait Gallery and then we walked all over the West End. His arm tucked in mine as if he didn't have a care in the world. I went to several shows with them and he introduced me as Darren - The Brilliant Prop Designer. Michael had the ability to make you feel as if you were the most important person in the world - an amazing talent at parties with all of his friends because no one was left out. Compliments flooded about. And all of them genuine.

I know that I am not the only one that will grieve that he is not on this earth physically. But I also know that I am not the only one that has been touched profoundly by Michael D. Mitchel - His work and his vision and most of all his friendship will keep theatre alive for many, many, many years to come.

http://www.thefulton.org/pages/index.php?pID=308&PHPSESSID=bda0d413d1a240b5a587910809c3691b
http://www.playbill.com/news/article/121610.html

Design Portfolio (click here)

2008-11-11T11:41:00.007Z

I have just posted my design portfolio here on my blog. For convenience, I have posted it under another date.

For full portfolio: Darren Goad - Design Portfolio

If you have any enquires about availability for special projects please leave a comment with how I can contact you and I will get back to you (it will not be posted).

Below is just a sample of the full portfolio

For full portfolio: Darren Goad - Design Portfolio

Teaching and Such

2008-11-08T09:24:00.003Z

So. It has been three weeks since I found out that I will not be returning to my post at the bank. On the one hand, this really bites the big dog biscuit. I wasn't getting rich off of what I made at the bank, but I was living comfortably. I could eat out occasionally, enjoy a few pints with friends, see a play at least once a week. I allowed me to do what I wanted to do. So, I suppose I was better off than a lot of people.

On the other notorious hand, I really didn't like working for the bank. I was bored, constantly feeling that I and my talents were being wasted. Lately with the dis-credit scrunch and even as far back as February when some rogue trader lost £2billion of the bank's assets, the amount of people in my department was halved. The work volume went down but not in direct proportion to the staff... So... I had been feeling very over worked and the atmosphere was gaining a pallor that was incredibly depressing. So one should say... good riddance. I'm free!

I am still at LISPA teaching Space Lab for the Advanced Course. Every Friday for four hours. I am enjoying every moment. My students are fantastic. I love blowing their minds out of the water! Posing questions that they struggle with to pure frustration - then, it is absolute joy when I see the light go on when they have discovered something however small or profound. While I am absolutely convinced this is what I need to be doing and know that as a career move it is the best thing for my future, it is hardly enough to pay the bills.

So for now, I'm shopping at Iceland, no pints and no plays. What hurts the most? No Comic Books. I'm dying here people! The earth has been Invaded by the Skrulls and Batman is Missing... And I haven't been able to keep up! (And no... telling me the plot synopsis over the phone or and email is not the same thing. I had to go away to France when the last Harry Potter book came out in order to avoid some one accidentally blurting out the ending before I read it!)

I've registered with my old temp agency again. Something should turn up soon. Looking for a job is one of my most hated endeavours. Just a word of advice... Never put it out there for God and the Universe to hear: "I might be better off if I was forced to leave my job".

A Note from an Ex-Pat

2008-11-07T13:13:00.003Z

As an American living abroad, I was constantly being asked... What is wrong with your country? Bush? We can see how it happened the first time (2000). But how could you have let it happen again? What I failed to realise before I moved to London, was that the rest of the world does not have the same opinion as we do that America is a Great Country. I found myself having to defend a country and a government that I was at times very ashamed of.

Tuesday brought back my pride. I stayed up all night to watch the results and to watch Obama's acceptance speech at 5:30 in the morning. Thank God for the Internet and CNN Worldwide. For something that I believed would never happen in my lifetime I was very proud to have been a part of and witnessed history in the making.

I know Change to some people is not always a good thing. I am one who is very resistant to change. Extremely should I say. Unless it is of my own making. I hate when they change the times of the bus schedule, or traffic pattern or I have to change desks at work or my schedule is changed. I am very set in my ways. I like things to stay as they are. However. America's place in this world has been degrading over the past six years. We are no longer thought of the "Good Guys".

While I could speak what I believe will be the countless good things of a Democratic government there on the homeland. The one thing I can say is that the Election of Barack Obama has given hope to many nations that the path that the world was on can change back to one that is brighter.

For all you Democrats out there. Be patient with those who do not see this as the answer. They might need some time. They will need some time to adjust. Listen. Allow them to push back because resistance sometimes ads that balance and stability that your new ideas need to flourish..

For all you Republicans out there. Be patient with those who do not see things your way. They will try to convince you that their way is right. Sometimes it is what is needed and sometimes your way might have been better. Listen. But most of all remember... Please....Just because they are Democrats does not mean they are not Moral or devalue life or are completely godless.

The Smell of Cloves

2008-10-30T11:19:00.002Z

This was written for my father...

my parents at the age of 34 gave me life
not thru the normal biologic function

but through legal adoption
of an orphaned baby from the age of 19 days

they raised me well and never did I want
I had everything I needed and then some

into a family of righteous and the god fearing
came an outsider for them to groom

constant love and affection
were mine for the taking

my father is a religious man
a patient man who's slow to anger

thru countless services I'd sit beside him
his arm around my shoulder

the smell of cloves was always on his breath
my nose would sting with spicy sharp needles

when I was very young my head upon his lap
I'd look up as he was....

Read more?

The Best is Yet to Come

2008-10-29T15:09:00.001Z

My Great Works are yet to come
They have to beor else what's the point?
I don't have a 'Salesman' or 'Iceman Cometh'
The masterpiece ....

Read more?

I've Been Published!

2008-10-23T11:37:00.004+01:00

Ok, before you get all excited, it's on a web-site. But, some poetry I've written has been published on Authspot. While I was surfing around looking for jobs this week, I stumbled across a place to get paid for writing. So here it is. I'm asking everying to go on the link and have a look. Every time you link to it an ad is displayed. I will recieve a percentage of the revenue. Ok, I know it's like pennies a month, but hey, anything helps.

So... check it out! Let me know what you think (I'm still trying to get the line spacing fixed).

Darren's Poetry

Ah the Joys.....

2008-10-22T15:50:00.003+01:00

Well, first of all... turning 40 is... well... it is what it is. I spent Saturday night with a whole host of friends at Waxy O'Connor's pub. It was a lovely come and go Birthday party. I did lose my voice as it was extremely loud. But it was great to see everyone.

I don't feel any different than I did last week or even last month. It's the subtle things that are sneaking up on me. The grey hair starting to creep in, the aches... the pains... Agh... what am I talking about... I'm Fine. Nothing could be better.

Ok... well, actually. I could have a job. Yes, the Credit Crunch. Is that a term that will actually live throughout history now? Will some journalist get credit for coining the phrase? I'm actually so sick of hearing it. It is just this nice simple term that is slapped on to every hardship with a knowing nod... 'Ah... yes... the Credit Crunch'.

No... my job was in jeopardy from last February when a rogue trader lost £2bn of the bank's assets. That and my department went over budget last year by £3mn. And... lets see... one last place for the blame... Parliament.

See, here's how it goes. Parliament decides to pass a law protecting contract workers (i.e. Me). The law states that any temp/contract employee who works for a company longer than a year must be giving the full rights and benefits of a permanent employee. Everyone is saying great... good... well done.

Now... Said companies are saying 'Hold on. We don't want any more employees... What can we do?' They decide to make it mandatory that any temp/contract employee that works 50 weeks must terminate their contract. If they want to return then they have to wait for a minimum of five weeks. During that five weeks, they must be able to prove that they have worked some place else. If not, they may not return to their former post until after eight weeks.

This whole process is know locally as 'taking a tenure'. Here is the kicker.... The job may or may not be available for you when are ready to return.

And guess what. I was all set to go back to work last Monday and I had called to confirm. The message was 'Oh... it might be a little while before we can bring you on board....'. Well, on Tuesday... the message was...' Um... sorry... we can't have you back at all.... Maybe January...'

Well. Doesn't that just set your grass on fire?

My priority is LISPA. We started this Monday for our 6th year. So... I am looking for a new job. But, 'Flexible' is very difficult to find.

The thing is. I hated working for the bank. The people I worked with were great. The money was great. But the actual job was well beyond boring. I made the mistake of saying before I went on my tenure that if I didn't get to go back to the bank that it might be a blessing in disguise.... Let's pray for Blessings

Update

2008-10-08T13:05:00.003+01:00

Well, before I hear it from a million different sources, I'M SORRY!!!!!

For most of you this will mean nothing, but to those that I didn't call, I'm so Sorry!

I recently spent some time in visiting my parents. That meant going home to Denver (before you get all upset... I didn't call ANYONE). This trip was devoted totally to spending time with mom and dad. Both of whom are doing very well under the circumstances. Dad seems to be doing the same since last year. His doctor has said that his Alzheimer's has not progressed. I did spend a lot of time searching for keys, canes, day-timers and a pill bottle which took two weeks to find (it did show up my last day in the belly of the sofa). I can't really say much because I'm always forgetting where I put my keys and I have as yet to learn all of my student's names.

Mom is doing well on the morale front, however she's in a lot of pain. She is going in to have a knee replaced on 14 October, then the second knee replaced three months later.

It was good to be back in Denver if only for the Mexican food. I ate at my favorite restaurant five times and Taco Bell at least six. The security at the airport looked at me strangely as the only thing I had in my allotted 1qt plastic bag was Taco Bell Hot Sauce Packets.

I needed to rest. The last eight months have probably been the most stressful of my life. Good months, but stressful. Mom kept asking what I wanted to do. I just kept saying that I didn't want to do anything. I spend most of my life in London running here and there. Multiple hours a day on the tube or train or walking to and fro. So several weeks of not moving, not having to be anywhere was perfect. My parents thought I was bored. I was doing exactly what I wanted.

I did however set myself one task – I catalogued my comic books. That entailed dragging out nine boxes of comic books. Most dating from the 80's and 90's, but I did find a few from the mid-70's. My ultimate find? - one I paid $.60 now worth $150. Not that I'd sell it even if I could.

Anyway... If you feel slighted, I apologise... I will make it up to you .... somehow.

Darren's Blood, Sweat and Tears... Right Here!

2008-04-28T08:43:00.003+01:00

Zephyrus Theatre Company Presents -

2008-04-25T08:22:00.000+01:00

Come join us! Help us raise some cash for Zephyrus Dreams!

Zephyrus Update

2008-04-16T17:50:00.002+01:00

Hiddy Ho!

I've been rehearsing 3 to 4 times a week for about a month now and building puppets and trying to pull together a cast of 25. I'm still teaching 1 day a week and working for the bank. I've also renewed my leave to stay here so I've been really really busy. So forgive the long absence.

But the most important thing is that we have found our space to perform.

Zephyrus Dreams

At The Round Chapel in Clapton
13, 15, 17 May @ 8:00pm and an additional show at 4:00 on 17 May.

Invite your friends!
More updates soon!

Zephyrus Scratches!

2008-03-02T10:24:00.002Z

So... I've been going mad since January and even more so this weekend. Over the last month, I have held auditions, rehearsed and made a giant knight puppet. AND!!! formed my own Zephyrus Theatre Company!

On Tuesday, we will be performing 20 minutes of Zephyrus Dreams at the Cockpit Theatre for their scratch night - Theatre in the pound(that's £ Sterling not dog). I am looking to do a further showcase performance the last week-end of May. Hopefully this will lead to a full-on production by the end of the year. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hopefully I'll be able to post some pictures soon and give you all the low-down. Sorry for not keeping this up to date, but well... the art comes first!

Zephyrus Theatre Company

2008-02-12T20:56:00.001Z

Well, last Thursday, Zephyrus Theatre Company (my new company) held its first auditions for my piece Zephyrus Dreams. It was fantastic! I have been very blessed that two of my friends and collaborators have come on board. Becca has been listening to me spout off my dreams for this show for over a year and has been a great sounding board. She basically said 'Darren its time to get off your can and do something'.

Jen has been a Godsend. She has stepped in and is producing my wild nightmare! I'm absolutely amazed how she as organised everything! More soon!

Zephyrus Dreams - Back in the Rehearsal Room

2008-01-07T09:19:00.000Z

This last week, I finally got back into the studio. For three years now, there is a show in my guts that just has to get out. Well, I had the opportunity for some free rehearsal space. I had planned on doing a showcase next Sunday. But, the performance space fell through but I thought I would take the opportunity to get some people together to just play.

On Wednesday night, six people came and it was great. We started playing with some of the group dynamics of the scene that is in my head. It was good, because it showed me that what is in my head is indeed possible.

In December, I started to build a mock-up of a large multi-person puppet. So, on Thursday I worked with Jen and Robin to test out the possibilities for this thing. I didn't want to build the finished product and spend all the time and money only to find out it didn't work. But, after two hours with them, I'm ready to build it. I only need to find the space to work and store it, cause I don't really want to live with a giant knight in my bedroom for the next six months.

Saturday, I worked with Becca and Mark (my two main players for this particular section). We hashed out the story and staging logistics for a couple of hours. All I need now, is to confirm a date and location for this showcase. If anyone knows of any money lying around earmarked for starving artists with brilliant ideas, let me know.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T08:00:00.000Z

When I was growing up, I had these mile-stones in my life that I looked forward to: 16 - I learned to drive, 18 - I graduated college, 25 - the year I thought I would know it all, 32 - how old I would be in the year 2000. But yesterday, I suddenly realised that this is the year that I will turn 40. I know that is not really a big deal, but I've always sort of had a Meg Ryan in Harry met Sally attitude about it... I'm going to turn 40 someday.

Now, I know I am too young to even think about having a mid-life crisis. I have always said that I am going to be like Gielgud and be working steadily when I'm 95, so mid-life is still a fair chunk away. And, at the risk of sounding vane and immodest, I know I don't look 40, 36 maybe but not 40. But I can't help but think, as I'm starting off this new year that I should be a little more appreciative of what I have. Take care of myself a little better. Because lets face it, I have discovered that the weight that I put on over my Christmas Holiday in France is going to take a bit longer to get rid of than even three years ago (and for that matter five years ago it wouldn't have even appeared around the middle in the first place). I do miss the days when I could have eaten and drank what ever I pleased.

But, with all that aside, I look back on 2007 and can say I have had a very good year:
I went to France several times and spent a week-end in Copenhagen; I spent a week in Edinburgh and the Fringe Festival; I was involved in the first stages of a devised piece called Bonsai Maple Syrup which has great potential (dreams for it include a month in Japan later in 2008); My niece had a son - which brings the total of Grand-Nephews to three; I have been teaching more at LISPA and having a fantastic time both teaching and learning so much from my students; And things with my boyfriend are better than ever (he prefers to stay out of the blogging scene so those wanting pictures will have to wait).

But best of all, I got to spend three weeks with my parents for hands down the best visit I have ever had with them. Dad is going in for his check up this month but we are all expecting good news as he seems to be very stable.

All said and done, I am looking forward to this year. My goals are not resolutions as they have been on-going goals that have started at various time during 2007, so they don't have the stigma of "Resolution" on them.

Zephyrus Dreams is still my biggest artistic drive at the moment. I'm currently looking for some showcase venues and hopefully will be able to bring some producers in to see. I am hoping to have a full production up before the end of the year. This will come under my new theatre company called Zephyrus Theatre Company which is in its early stages of formation.

I am looking for a new place to live that is a little closer in to central London and closer to the BF so as to keep my time spent commuting a little less. I also need a space to work on my puppets. One of the main things that has been holding me back. Need to figure out where to keep giant tigers and dragons and ships - much less build them.

But, for you my friends. My goal is this:

That you receive all the affirmation for your dreams, and means to achieve them - Love, happiness and prosperity to you in 2008!

Let the Joy Rise!
Darren

The Quarterly Up-Date Part II

2007-11-12T11:00:00.000Z

The story that I tell here in London always gets the same reply. "Do you live in stereotypical Small Town America?"

The reason for the reply is that while I was home, I sold my car. Not to just anyone but to my High-School Prom Date's Daughter. If that doesn't make me feel old knowing that she is old enough to drive but the fact that she has already been out of High-school herself for almost a year!

LISPA has started again and I can't believe how lucky I am. I'm teaching at least one day a week. Alternating weeks between the 1st and 2nd years. It has been a fantastic learning experience for me. Teaching something solidifies your theories on it. The school itself is growing so fast. We are now up to 2 groups in each of the years. The first year is still meeting in the original studio in West London, while the Advanced course is meeting in the Hackney Empire's studio space.

As usual, I have been able to see lots of interesting things lately. Complicite's Disappearing Number (rather boring actually), James Thierree's Au Revoir Paripluie; Present Laughter, Pinter's Hothouse, Saint Joan (BRILLIANT), The Enchantment all at the National; GlenGary/Glenn Ross with Jonathan Pryce; Mary Poppins (which made me cry - I'm such a sap).

Also, this last week, the Los Angeles Symphony was in town to play the entire Sibelius Symphony cycle. I know... it sounds like a nerdy thing to do, but Max and I went to hear the entire four concerts. I was Brilliant! To be able to afford all of them, we had to sit in the last row of the balcony but hey.

There is so much going on and I'm keeping so busy that there are several things that I've will have missed because the have sold out... Patrick Stewart in Macbeth and Punchdrunk's Mask of the Red Death. I'm gutted about missing both. I could always queue for returns but then that would mean time I don't have. Oh well.

The Quarterly Up-Date Part I

2007-11-07T10:21:00.000Z

Well, I'm now 3 weeks into being 39. Scary. I still feel like a 25 year old. Or rather a 12 year old. In September, I went back to Denver to see my parents. It was a fantastic trip. I brought Max along for a week of it. We had a great time doing all the touristy things. It was the first time that I had ever been to Garden of the Gods.

Dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's last Christmas but is doing remarkably well and in fact has been stabilised. The disease has not progressed any since they found it. Mom is doing very well too. So, I was very grateful that I was able to spend so much time with them. So, my apologies to all of you in Denver that I did not call. The trip was mainly for the 'rents.

With all of their health issues, Mom & Dad have decided to sell their house. This is the family homestead to me. They moved into the house in 1962. It is the only family home I have ever known. So, they will sell it in the spring and move to the Houston area to be close to my sister. It is a good and wise move for them but it will still be hard.

As a result, I needed to take care of all of my stuff and I had a garage sale. That was a nightmare. I went through all of my possessions that I still had at my parents house and divided the stuff that I wanted to keep or sell. That was a chore in and of it self. Then, organising a garage sale for the last weekend I was there. I won't say it was a failure because I made $400. But against the £ it kind of seemed not really worth it. I had lots of furniture that didn't sell and I sold my entire Disney Video collection for $12. It was heartbreaking.

I then had to spend Sunday night packing everything I didn't sell back up to leave for Goodwill. Dad helped me but it took about 3 hours to get the garage back in order. It was awful because everything I was getting rid of was laced with so many memories. I think if Dad wasn't there I would have just burned it all to get rid of it.

As I was almost done, I looked at the pile of stuff that I was just giving away and realised it was about 50% bigger than stack of stuff that I was keeping. I realised that I was going to give over half of my possessions away. I just cried. Silly things would bring back tonnes of memories. The table and chairs that I bought my freshman year of college. Costume pieces from shows 25 years ago. I know I was / am a pack-rat but still. My father kept saying "I don't know what we are going to do when we have to sell this house..."

The worst and last thing I had to do was deal with a large sculpture that I had built in 1995. It was a large window that was eight feet tall and solid wood that I had painted to look like marble. It is something that I carried with me from Dallas to Phoenix to Chicago to Denver and many various apartments. I couldn't keep it anymore and it would cost a fortune to ship here to London. And of course... no-one wanted to buy it. (I did sell a sculpture that took over 2 weeks to build to someone for $5 - that's not even enough to buy a Big Mac here in England). So, sucking up all the courage I had and trying not to to break down sobbing, I cut it to pieces and put out for the garbage.

But, in the end, I consolidated all of the stuff I am keeping to fit under the stairs. I will go back in the spring to have it all shipped over here. I'm sure that will be a joy.

Join me for a Pint!

2007-10-18T09:51:00.000+01:00

I'm meeting a bunch o' people to celebrate my birthday tonight at 7:00 at Wax'y O'Connor's in Soho (that would be London's Soho and NOT New York's).

If you're around London, come join me. It's on Rupert St. Between Shaftsbury Avenue and Leicester Sq.

Come On! I'm in the last of the '30s
D

Edinburgh - The Worst

2007-09-07T09:55:00.000+01:00

A Glance at New York presented by Axis Company
If I could give negative stars I would.

The costumes of ragged 19th century New York were gorgeous. The play, probably the first revival since 1850 tells the story of a country bumpkin being swindled or coddled by various city folk.

At least nine actors paced and shuffled, stomped, mumbled, speed through their lines and never left the stage for 50 minutes. The billing time was 1:10. In hind sight, they would have been better off if they had taken the full allotment. Often they repeated or mouthed each others lines. My impression was that none of these people had ever been on stage before.

The product looked like a group of amateurs suffering from bombastic delivery mixed with stage fright. My friend Valarie teaches elementary school drama. Her 12 year old kids gave a better performance of Shakespeare than this group from America.

There was one moment of beauty. The entire cast stopped moving. And sang a ballad. Too bad that this happend 45 minutes into the piece.

I then learned that the director based the production on his work with the mentally ill. Unfortunately I wanted to walk out after ten minutes. I normally have a moral objection to walking out of theatre. My theory is that even bad theatre can teach you something. I see at least 60 performances a year. I have walked out on only four plays in my life. But this was utterly excruciating. But I was trapped in the middle of a very cramped row. I would have had to climb over eight people to get out one direction and six people the other and then walk across the stage to the exit. So I had to endure it. A total of six people did manage to escape the carnage.

What astonished me was that the little old lady behind me said rather pointedly as we were all struggling to find the fresh air "Oh! That was Delightful". I, along with the rest of the victims all turned and glared at this miscreant with shock. But then she held up her romance novel that she had been reading from the back row.

Edinburgh Fringe - The best

2007-09-07T08:49:00.000+01:00

Well

One of these days I'm going to get everything in order. Don't hold your breath. I spent a week in Edinburgh seeing some amazing things and then again... seeing some not.

The Best -

Woyzeck
***** by Sedari Movement Laboratory in association with AsiaNow (Assembly Aurora Nova). This was an absolutely stunning piece of physical work. The text was in Korean and I still don't know exactly what happened. But this truly is a brilliant group that can grip an audience with movement and take them on an emotional journey. The Sedari group has an edge based in LeCoq that doesn't spit out the physical theatre cliches. The show won the Total Theatre Award for Best Physical Performance.

Corpus Christi
****
by Terrence McNally
Presented by MCCV & 108 Productions

The play itself has a very special place in my heart. After performing the role of Matthew for almost four months in 2001 at the Baliwick in Chicago with the most amazing cast of people which turned out to be the pinacle of experiences of my life so far, I never thought that I could see any other production without feeling like I had been let down.

I decided to see the play performed at Edinburgh venue Bedlam. Totally prepared to hate it and have a list of negatives that would justify animosity to anyone ever doing the play without me in it.

I was wrong. Whether it is the play itself, the message or just the fact that God has a way of moving people, I was floored. The message that all people have the divinity of God inside them is in fact what trancends.

Yes, it was different that what we did years ago and yes, if I did it again I would change things. Some things I didn't like. Others were very impressive. But setting all of that aside, I was so touched by the performance that I sought out the cast afterwards and met up with them several times over that week - Telling common war stories and sharing victories of this amazing play.

James Brandon made an absolutely lovely, terrifying and vulnerable Joshua. Simply set, it is worth every ounce of effort to see it.

Edinburgh or Bust!

2007-08-15T13:52:00.000+01:00

For all of you faithful readers that have probably given up reading for lack of any new material I do heartily apologise for my absence over the last months. I no longer have Internet access at home. So, I can't post very often. Also, I am unable to check my hotmail account from the bank. Thus, checking email is a precedence over posting so... Well... I could go on but that would be boring.

I had another fantastic holiday in Cannes a few weeks ago. Spent several days on the beach in St. Tropez and almost every other afternoon by the pool. The Riviera is absolutely gorgeous and again had some amazing food. I was with my friend Max again who showed me a lot of the little villages around Cannes and Nice. Even went to Monaco for the evening.

Tomorrow, I am heading up to Edinburgh for another week of Theatre Gluttony. I'll let you know. I'm taking my laptop with me so I may be able to catch up on all the email and posting stuff.

Also....

I am going to be in Denver from 12 September to 2 October. So...if you're there, I'd love to see you and catch up.

Ta
Darren

Short Update

2007-07-12T10:57:00.001+01:00

So... I'm terrible at updating.
You sound surprised?

Well... Since I got back from Cannes HHMM...

It's been probably the Coldest June and July that I've ever been in. London is cold and constantly raining
I built curtains for LISPA that were 6.5 meters tall (thought it was going to take me 2 days ended up taking 8)
While working at the bank... Yes still there
Teaching at LISPA and much to my great delight, my students are amazing
I was in a play at the Pleasance London for one weekend called Bonsai Maple Syrup - playing an American GI in Hiroshima after the War. So... rehearsal for that took up 3 nights a week for about a month and a half, on top of everything. The show was decent. Could have benefited from about 3 more weeks of rehearsal but hey...

Interesting things I've seen (Most recent)

Angels in America Pt 1 & 2 - Greg Hicks as Roy Coen - I saw the National's production in 1994 and felt like I was watching my life on stage. At the time I was trying to stay in the closet... well... this time around I was struck by deep nostalgia and almost pity for the younger me. But joy at how much I've grown. I was extremely moved by this production and still feel that this is one of the greatest plays written in my life-time

The Initiation Course gave their final presentation on Monday. I was very proud as they did very well. There were times where they were struggling quite a bit but defended it well. I remember back to my first year and definitely remember the struggle

The Advanced Course gave there big public show a few weeks ago. Again, I was very proud. They did very well and at times they too had to struggle to defend their work. As always there were pieces that worked and pieces that didn't, but for the most part, the audience came away very entertained and please at having been there

The Lord of the Rings Musical - Well, before you start poo-pooing, it was actually pretty good. Ok, I can't remember a single song and the script is fairly decent in that it has thousands of pages of tome to condense into a 3+ hour show, but... the true star of the show is the designer. The spectacle is utterly amazing. From the Ring-Wraiths to the giant spider to the Million£ revolving stage. And Gollum played by Michael Therriault is one of the best physical performances I've ever seen. You can pity him and hate him and love him at the same time...

Landscape with a Weapon at the National Theatre's Cottesloe. Pippa Haywood, Tom Hollander, Julian Rhind-Tutt and Jason Watkins all gave startling performances of what happens when someone invents things that he shouldn't i.e. pilot-less airplanes that can deliver missiles. A bit of the same moral dilemma as Fryan's Copenhagen but this gives a bit of the villainy and consequences behind it

I'm off to France in a week for another holiday. I absolutely can't wait. Then, in August I'm in Edinburgh for a week then heading back to the homestead for a visit in September. School is back in session in October

Greetings from Cannes!

2007-05-21T15:58:00.000+01:00

Hello and Greetings from the Cote d'Azur (That would be the the French Riviera for those in the know). I came with to a friend to visit his family and the city of Cannes.

There are tonnes of people here for the festival. And... apparently we ran into someone famous. Micha... or Michelle, or Misha... we can't figure out who she is but she was standing right next to us as we were walking along the quay looking at the yachts. Suddenly all these young men were coming up to here begging to have their picture taken with her. Who knows... I should have jumped in line, but they sort of looked at us like we were in the party.

And... apperently Sharon Stone was on another yacht where about thirty paparazzi were waiting outside for a snap as she exited. I've sort of grown wary of men with large cameras. Strange creatures.

As of yet, I've only seen the city at night time... Quite amazing... Well.. of to see the sea... I'll write more later

Divine Beauty

2007-05-14T10:24:00.000+01:00

Every once in a while you come across something that strikes you as absolute genius... or actually... it goes beyond intellect into pure talent. Then you think a bit further and talent doesn't come close but divine inspiration seems to be the key.

It hit me last week as I saw an exhibit at the Royal Academy of Arts - The Unknown Monet: Pastels and Drawings. Monet started drawing at a very early age. Some of the pieces on display were pages out of a sketch-book done when he was 16 years old. Pure beauty. Amazing works. You see his ability to perfect the age old techniques - before he developed his own style and became a master himself. Obviously there were some that were just there... You know... oh that's nice but then - there were some that were so breathtakingly moving that you just have to stop. I sat in front of one painting for about ten minutes. Then a thought that I had had about eight years ago came streaming back to me. When I see beauty whether it be in Art, Music, Performance, in Nature... I see God.

Yesterday, I saw the Renoir Landscapes 1865-1883 exhibit at the National Gallery. This was a collection of Renoir's lesser known works and away from his familiar portraits and figure works. Amazing. 64 works in all. Stunningly beautiful. Again, some of the works can leave you speechless as to their beauty.

I am drawn toward the Impressionists as I think I always have been - but I am not sure how it happened. It is probably the fact that the lines are not always clear, there is room towards interpretation. Am I seeing the full picture or can I imagine something else?

Movement and colour and line and pictures... Beauty... I think I'm drawn to them because I can see God. I'm drawn to the fact that God is so much bigger than any one's own dogma, credo, or doctrine but that one can paint a line and show beauty...Man's interpretation of God's creation must be seen on an individual basis. We cannot allow anyone to dictate who God is because it will be revealed to each and everyone of us on a different level. God speaks to me and is revealed through art and love and beauty and emotion. To another God is revealed in a prayer, a song, a mantra or an icon. Who am I to say how your God will be revealed? I cannot judge for I have no right.

I'm Such a Kid!

2007-05-01T08:42:00.000+01:00

I found this amazing site the other day.
http://cp.c-ij.com/english/3D-papercraft/index.html.
You can print, cut out and make your favorite buildings of the world!

It reminds me of the books my parents used to buy me as a child. The Whitman publishing company had a series of press-out books where you could punch out and assemble almost anything--- you know... insert Tab A into Slot B. They had the Mini Town, Mini Rodeo, Mini Train, Mini Circus. Countless hours were spent carefully punching out all the little pieces.

I hadn't thought about these for years. I remember when my mother was very ill - I was probably 5 or 6 years old. She was in hospital and back then they would not allow children on the floor of the wards. So, I'd pack up my book of the week with all of the pieces and while my father was with my mother, I'd sit in the lobby of the hospital and put things together. I'd then get to go visit my mother for maybe five minutes and show her my progress. The grand places I built on a tiny scale kept my occupied for hours.

It was only as I was researching paper sculptures for class that I came across this site. Floods of memories came pouring back. I haven't even thought about them for almost thirty years.

Well, as I've always said... I think part of me is stuck at 12 years old.

I'm Impressed!

2007-04-30T16:18:00.000+01:00

I can't tell you how pleased and proud I am with my classes at LISPA.

This term, in their improvisation and movement classes the initiation students have been exploring the world of animals. So, in Space Lab, I had them create animal masks. The first week we just made mock-ups out of paper. To explore the essential shapes of the animal and how it would work as a mask. The next two classes the were provoked to make a mask out of whatever material they wished.

Last Tuesday, as a final space-lab class of the term, they presented the finished masks. I was floored by the quality. Thomas also said he was very impressed by the creativity of the work. The exceptional pieces were a Hippopotamus, a turtle, an orangutan, and several giraffes. Every day that I teach is just an exceptional lift to me because I'm submersed in the creative atmosphere. It makes returning to the bank the following day almost excruciating! I am so looking forward to next year when I will be teaching a lot more and actually taking on the Advanced Course as well. I'm excited with the possibilities.

Oh... and the Pangela(What ever kind of animal that is....) was the highlight of them all.

Darren in Action

2007-04-24T16:56:00.000+01:00

I just discovered today that one of my students put a video of my first class with them on Youtube with the footage of me in action. If you've ever wondered what I would be like as a teacher... check this out. It actually looks like I know what I'm talking about. I'm just glad you can't hear anything to dispute it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwND0Baw3oA

Nothing Much To Report

2007-03-05T09:16:00.000Z

Sometimes I feel negligent in not updating the blog. But then I think.... it's 'Same ole Same ole' so what's the point.

Other than being out sick from work for a week a week ago... not much has happened. Nothing profound anyway. Two weeks ago, I saw Patrick Stewart in the RSC's production of Antony and Cleopatra which was amazing, however I started coming down with the Flu in the middle of the second half so I was in absolute pain when it came time for the applause.

Later that weekend, I went with Max to hear the London Symphony Orchestra with violin Soloist Joshua Bell playing Brahms Violin Concerto. Amazing. But again... ill with fever through the concert.

I'm all better now and have made it back to the gym after three weeks off. Must stay in shape.

This last week, I went with Chris to see Jason Isaacs and Lee Evans in Pinter's Dumb Waiter. Chris described it as Vegetable Theatre - stuff you don't really like but know it's good for you so you go anyway... Kind of what I thought.

So... praying for the inspiration bug to hit to get creating again... and being a little more productive than just the bank.

Holiday Weekend in Copenhagen

2007-02-08T09:06:00.000Z

I spent this last weekend in Copenhagen, Denmark with my very good friend Max. We had and amazing weekend visiting a very cold city. I'm not sure why I tend to take my holidays in arctic weather in February. The first time I visited Edinburgh, then Budapest and Vienna and now Denmark have all been in the dead of winter... Maybe it's keeping with my upbringing...

Speaking of which... it's snowing here in London at the moment. Less than 3 centimetres of snow and the city is shut down.

Anyway, back to Denmark... Max and I stayed at the the Copenhagen Admiral Hotel and amazing 4 star hotel converted from a massive factory. Our room looked directly over the water at the new Opera house.

It is a beautiful city with everything within walking distance. The good food is expensive and the cheap food is either very small portions or just bad.

Things that are a must:
- Climbing the Round Tower with amazing view of the city.
- Visiting the State Gallery (Very good collection however currated very strangely - its like eveything got put in a blender then hung up with no particular order)
- Taking a water taxi to the Black Diamond (The library for those in the know) and the Opera House (Definitely wear a coat).
- The Jailhouse Bar (The madam behind the bar straight out of the bar in Shrek - with a deeper voice)

If you have time:
- Rosenborg Palace - The Crown Jewels of Denmark on display. (The guide book looked promising, however the best parts are closed because the floor is caving in. I was disappointed because I missed the throne room but the Crown Jewls are nice).
- The changing of the guard. I bit of Pomp & Circ. (Doesn't really compare with London where the Uniforms are flashier or Prague where the Soldiers are beautiful)

Definitely Miss:
- Avoid the Casa Rosa on the Stroget (I knew it was a bad idea when the menu had Italian AND Mexican fare. But what can you do at 10 p.m. on Sunday night?)

There were lots of things we missed because we were only there 2 nights but will definitely go back.

The Death of Frosty

2007-01-19T09:22:00.000Z

So they say that Chicago is the 'Windy City'? There were up to 90mph winds through London. I was literally stopped in my tracks because the wind was so strong in Canary Wharf.

But I looked out the window and saw that the wind got the best of our friend Frosty the 3-storey Snowman. He was lovely all lit up at night. Glad he missed the water as there is a team of swan that I see regularly around the quay-side - not to mention that there are several barges where people live right beside.

Ah well. Being the middle of January, it was time he was melting anyway.... C-Ya next year F!

Happy New Year

2007-01-03T20:09:00.000Z

Wow!
First of all, Happy New Year to all! 2006 was a very eventful year for me.

January saw me in Denver packing up and moving back to London and moving in with Chris. The very next week, we travelled to Edinburgh to witness the Civil Partnership of two of Chris's very good friends David and Graheme. In the Flat, Chris had started painting the bedroom.

February saw us finishing the bedroom and start painting the hall and living room where I built some shelves. The last week of the month I ripped out the kitchen.

March.... OI! I started to build the new kitchen while on the 10th, we rented a car to go buy the tile for the kitchen, take the old one to the dump and as a small matter go to our own Civil Partnership. David and Graheme came down for the ceremony and my good friend Li Leng joined the witnesses. We then had a party. I finished the kitchen about the last of March.

April... Chris and I visited Chicago, I got my visa for limited leave to remain (always an oxymoron to me) and I started back to work for the Bank. I'm still there but wishing I were working someplace else as the main source of income.

May... I taught a workshop to the Initiation Course at LISPA. Great success.

June and July... I worked with Analogue Theatre Company to devise a piece called Mile End.

August... I visited David and Graheme in Edinburgh and spent 6 days seeing as much theatre in the Fringe Festival as possible.

Believe it or not, September and October were relatively un-eventful. I worked a lot. Saw theatre and just existed.

In November I started teaching Space Lab again for LISPA and enjoying every minute of it, While December was just as busy and working tonnes at the Bank over the Holidays.

So... My New Year's resolution is to live a little more eccentrically... what ever that means.

Blessings to you all!
Love
Darren

The First Space Lab

2006-11-12T11:22:00.000Z

Yesterday, I had my first meeting with each class of the Initiation Course. I met them all outside of Embankment Station. I then led them from there to Westminster, Whitehall, Trafalgar, Leicester Square and Jermyn St and ending at the Royal Academy.

Along the way, I stopped to ask questions about what they saw. How does the architecture affect their mood? Does the London Eye fit it? How do the people interact with the space? Things to provoke them to think about the space around them.

One of the most amazing things, that happened by accident was that we were walking up Whitehall just at 11:00. Yesterday was Remembrance day. We were at the Cenitaph just as they were having the ceremony to honor the fallen soldiers of all the branches of the military by laying wreaths. An escort of helicopters flew over just before the Bugler played taps. Afterwards four fighter jets flew over in formation.

I couldn't have planned it any better. It was a perfect example of space and architecture influencing us - to remind us of our humanity.

London is definitely my home. I am passionate about this city and all it has to offer. Over the two and a half hour walk, I tried to instill the fact that it is an abundant resource for inspiration for all of their work over the next two years.

Teaching Again

2006-10-30T17:47:00.000Z

Don't you really hate when real life encroaches on ... real life? For the last several months I have just been working. Working for the bank. Working too much. You sort of get into the rut of "I'm doing this for the money... I'm working these long hours because it will get me somewhere soon... You work for the weekends". Banking and desk-top-publishing are definitely not what I set out to do... Yes.. the means to an end.

The end is in sight... er rather...a bit closer to getting me out of the bank. At least that is the plan.

Anyway... Today was the first day of the new school year at LISPA. What a wonderful place. I got there to walk through the crowd of new Initiation course students... all eager... all a bit nervous... Thank God That's not me... No... I was the nervous one meeting them as a teacher... In reality, I thought I would be nervous but I walked into the Playground Studio and everything seemed so natural. Thomas and Amy were there, along with Elan, Kelli, Steph and Michael. My fellow teachers.

I'm so excited to be starting. I'll be teaching Space Lab to the Initiation Course alternating with Aurelian. We spent several hours meeting the new students... 72 I think is the count. I huge leap compared to the 29 that were in my class. The we went over what the year was going to look like, giving them their first themes for creation.

It was brilliant... Looking into their faces and remembering back to my first day... Scared to death, still reeling from the break-up with my partner and moving from the states to London.... Then feeling absolute joy at the realisation of how much I have grown and changed over the last three years. God I am blessed. I am extremely lucky to be back in this environment again. This time, being in the positions of learning from my students. But, now I have to live up to the fact that I actually have to deliver the goods.

Thor's Friendly Commuting Tips #1

2006-10-10T16:02:00.000+01:00

This is the first of my series on How To Be a Good Commuter... or Human Being (Still working out the title)

The daily trudge - To get to work, when most people have set them selves late by doing that one last chore or getting that one last snore. Everyone rushes to the train, to the bus, through the halls... every one acts as if they are the only ones with an urgent agenda.

So I'm going to take this moment to remind us all that: No one has eyes in the back of their head... at least I have never known anyone that does. Except You. Apparently. Or you act like it. But the problem is, if you did have occular orbs in the back of your numbskull you might notice that there are other people around you.

Take exhibit 1

EXHIBIT 1

Put yourself as person A. Me, I'll be person B. We are both traveling a nice pace through the underground. You are slightly ahead and in the centre of the walkway and I am on the left. There is a corner coming up. You seem to not realise that there are other people in there with you. When you approach that corner you decide to take the short cut. Ordinarily this would be prudent however, I... Person B, have been traveling at the same speed. And you decide that our paths must cross at that exact moment. But I am not able to dodge the bullet coming from my right and walk through the wall... So I either a) Hit the wall or b) bump into you for which you get very annoyed or c) just materialise on the other side of you. Since C is science fiction and A would take a change of direction the typical thing is B. Bump into you, and marvel at the fact that you think it is my fault.

Where does this leave us? I'm not sure. But with the simple question... Why do most people seem so oblivious to anyone around them? Common sense doesn't seem to be very common. Life would be a little less hectic or manic or frustrating or might be just a little more pleasant if everyone just thought to themselves... "I am not the only one here". You know... it might just curb a little of that feeling of seclusion.

Stay tuned for more tips on how to be a polite commuter.

The Inconvenience of Reality

2006-09-26T16:34:00.000+01:00

We are having our bathroom re-done now. That's great... they ripped out everything yesterday... That's great....they also ripped out the toilet....

I joined a gym recently. That's great. Since they ripped out our shower (which is great because it is going to be replaced) I can take a shower at my gym...That's great... But... yesterday it was closed because of power failure.

I hear about The Killers at Brixton Town Hall - I go to book... It's sold out.I hear about The Scissor Sisters at Wembly - After it's sold out.
I hear about Slava's Snow Show - After it's sold out.

Reality Bites!

The Best is Yet to Come

2006-09-14T09:12:00.000+01:00

My Great Works

are yet to come
They have to be
or else what's the point?
I don't have a 'Salesman'

or 'Iceman Cometh'
The masterpiece at 25

just didn't happen
I was too busy trying to build a life.
Construct an existence out of
rejected pre-ordained DNA

Maybe just discovering

what it means to be human

was all that was expected.

I have higher plans -
There's a demon inside
The seed of something is
stretching my belly to explode
I need to get it out
I must -
It must escape

The Products of my life,

my work, have been many;

but the best is yet to come!

Proms in the Park

2006-09-11T14:10:00.000+01:00

Saturday evening, I went with my friend Adrian and a few of his friends to Hyde Park for the Last night of the BBC Proms. Fantastic evening. Thousands of people gathered around with picnics galore to listen to music. The first half was pop stuff and the second half was classical. Lionel Ritchie performed a set. Very fun stuff. The last section is what would be equivalent of the 4th of July in the States. All the British patriotic songs. Jerusalem, O Danny Boy and God Save the Queen. Once again, I hit my emotional state to realise how lucky I am to be living here in the country that is very much becoming my home.

Tuesday at the Fringe

2006-08-22T23:12:00.000+01:00

The King's Got Donkey's Ears by Theatre of Widdershins
at the Quaker Meeting House

Ever since I was a kid, I've had a fasination with puppetry. At 12 years old I was in charge of the puppet ministry at my church. So when I saw the picturs of these beautiful puppets, I had to go see this show for tots. The story is of how the King that was chosen to judge the music competition between Apollo and Pan deals with the punishment of making the wrong choice.

The storytelling by Andy Lawrence was spellbinding to the 30 kids from babies to about 8 or 9 years old. The baby boy that had to be held upright sat enrapt for the 55 minute show. Technically speaking, what seamed to be a very simple set of hedges and a hillock quite cleaverly hide a castle and a multitude of locations. I took a risk seeing a children's show as my last foray into the fringe, but was well pleased with the spit n polish this production carries.
DG****

Alas... it's over. Back to London on the 3 o'clock train. Twenty One shows in six days was quite exhilerating. I definitely want to go back. Even better I want to perform. It is an absolutely amazing atmosphere. Thousands of performers touting their shows vying for the attention of thousands of spectators - What could be better than that?

Monday at The Fringe

2006-08-22T23:10:00.000+01:00

Sclavi / Song of an Emigrant by Farm in the Cave
at Aurora Nova @ St. Stephens

In the centre of the stage at in what is the Sanctuary of St. Stephens is a dimly lit trailer. It's almost too hard to tell what it is. The lights go out and then a rumbling from within starts becoming almost too much. As soon as the lights go up the cart is barreling towards the audience like a runaway train. The cacophony is breathtaking. Out burst 4 young men and 4 young women - thrown forth in a tumultuous frenzy.

This terrifying brilliant start only goes up from there.

The Czech company started this project in 2003 with tours of the villages of Slovakia to create a story from the interviews and letters of Emigrants. They bring together with song, dance and movement to tell the gut wrenching tale of a Slavic migrant returning home. The music, based on traditional folk tunes and mixed with a dissonant modern harmonies, was chosen because of its sound not necessarily the words being spoken.

I looked around the audience to see if anyone was having a problem with the language not being English. The audience was rapt. And it stayed that way for the next hour and 10 minutes. The movement was raw and angular. Fraught with emotion. Tenderness spun into violence.

It is so hard to describe Sclavi. But this ... event is so spellbinding that I would put it among the best things I have ever seen in my life. At least in the top 10. And those who know me, know I see a lot of theatre.

The Edinburgh Fringe won't be the last of this production I'm sure. DG *****

The Convent by Jo Stromgren Kompani
at Aurora Nova @ St. Stephens

This is a pretty amazing bizarre and disturbing bit o' theatre. The Jo Stromgren Kompani state that it is a Norwegian dance company. But it is so much more. Contemporary dance mixed with physical theatre mixed with non-sensical languages form an alluring visual and sensual feast.

The Convent is the story of three nuns in stuck in their remote holding. An extreme sect comprised of one superior and two minors... The hierarchy becomes clear when it comes time to eat. The question brought forth in the course of the event is - To what extreme is one or can one be pushed when the primal urges force conventionality out the window? The setting of the Sanctuary of St. Stephens is perfect. The harmonies of the nun's a cappella hymns echo and linger sublimely in the space.

This is an incredibly profound work. Important in the continuation of the physical theatre movement. However... I can say I loved it. But I can also say I didn't like it. Not for how it was done but that when the root of human nature takes over, violence starts to appear. DG*****

Love Labours Won presented by Rogue Shakespeare Company
The Gilded Balloon - Debating Hall

This is where I praise the talents of my friend Tess. I absolutely love working with her. I love watching her on stage. She has a presence that forces you to watch her and amazing comic timing.

I do however have to say about the efforts of Rogue Shakespeare Company that the driving force behind it might be just a little pretentious in writing his own play ripped off from Wills. The forced rhyming iambic pentameter was rather ridiculous and only worked when it was a direct plagiarism from Shakespeare. I don't remember how many times 'whore' was rhymed with 'more' (it may have been 'moor' once). This collection of soliloquies was too long for its hour long show and the plot too contrived to stand muster. Looking forward to seeing Tess in something that is worthy of her talent. DG*

Fool Presented by Fool
at the Underbelly - Big Belly

I am normally not a fan of sketch comedy. Mostly because they aren't funny. Or maybe I'm not funny. I am pretty serious most of the time. Or maybe I'm just too dense to get it. Let's go for the latter.

But... Fools show at the Big Belly was a 7 quid well spent. For the most part. The four guys performing had a good sense of ensemble and comic timing. But the thing about sketch comedy is that you tend to forget about it as soon as you leave. I laughed. DG***

Jim Jeffries - The Second Coming
at the Underbelly - Big Laugh

With a title like that it is surprising that this comedian was surprised that the religious right was protesting his show. The title is really in reference to his last show which was 'porn idol'. But! while the content was rather raunchy, it certainly wasn't sacrilegious. So, my advice to the Christian right... lighten up and have a laugh and if you're going to have an objection to anything, protest the killing of a country.

My hour that I sat there did more to fill my soul with laughter and joy than most sermons that last twice as long. And believe me... I've sat through a lot of them. DG****

Sunday at the Fringe

2006-08-20T12:00:00.000+01:00

This is my big busy day. Seven shows in twelve hours. Oi!

Baggage by Jonnie Fielding presented by Short Story Theatre
at the Pleasance Courtyard - Below

This is a short 1 act - 2 hander about a son and a father who doesn't remember that it is his son he's talking to. It seemed like this was the spark for something much more profound. I good concept that needs to be taken further - the themes need to be developed. The performances were adequate. Nothing too profound for the material they were given. ***

Perki & Mann are Spooked by Future Legend Theatre
at the Pleasance Courtyard - Below

I'd heard about the schlock of the Fringe but up til now, I hadn't found it. This however made up for it. I was interested by the premise - A mystery - comedy - two-hander. And the flyer made me laugh. The formula should have worked. Two actors playing multiple roles in a quest to rip off the family inheritance before the rest got there.

My fellow classmates know that I have a moral objection to walking out of any show. My thinking is that even bad theatre can teach you something. The only reason I didn't get up and walk out of this one was that the door to the theatre was on stage.
DG Rating 1/2*

Hysteria Presented by Inspector Sands & Stamping Ground Theatre
at Aurora Nova @ St. Stephens

This show was recommended by Dafydd because they are friends of his. It's a good thing to have talented friends, because I could have just as easily gone back and said huh uh. But, this show is top notch. The show starts with a very stoic waiter counting his/her(?) teeth only to find one in the wrong place. It only gets stranger from their.

Next, we have what can only be assumed is a blind date. The waiter is incredibly slow and never audible to the audience. The man is a touch on the neurotic side and the woman has a penchant for bananas and boas. This is a brilliantly slick commentary of the absurdity of normal human behavior. The tragically shy waiter steals the show with uproariously hilarious moments. All three of the cast have impeccably comic timing.

A must see. DG*****

Mummenschanz 3x11 Presented by Mummenschanz Foundation
George Square Theatre

This was a blast from the past. The reason I went was that I remember seeing these performers on Sesame Street as a kid. Plus, Thomas used to be a member of this group years ago. The creativity of this group is out of this world. The construction of each 'creature' for lack of a better word was amazing. The movement - sublime. However - it really failed to move me. It was a showcase. Each segment was brought out to say 'Here! Look at me!' It was a museum of creatures, or rather a Zoo. There was no connectivity with the audience or each other. Everyone was separate.

On top of all of that I was begging for music. Each vignette was done in silence followed by courteous applause.

It seems to me the reason to do things like this is to make an emotional connection but that was very much lacking here. It's like Marceux - it's a set piece showing the virtuosity of the performer without the danger of human connection. DG rating ***1/2

Rhod Gilbert - Knocking on Heaven's Door
at the Pleasance Courtyard - Beside

One of the major categories of the Fringe is Comedy. I've never really been one to just go to a comedy club. I must be just too serious. But, I thought 'Hey, I should give it a try'. I picked this show because of the line 'Getting into Heaven can be funny as Hell' What can be better than religious comedy eh?

Not really having a lot of things to compare it to, Rhod's show was fun. It made me laugh. It was irreverent at times but that's what was expected. And I learned about the Welsh self depreciation. DG ****

Star Trip by Yllana
at the Pleasance Courtyard - Beyond

Last minute addition to the day. Maybe I was addicted to seeing things but when you're on a roll, you're on a roll. I saw the poster. I saw the four star review and thought: Hell! why not? And my feet hurt.

This turned out to be just a fun absurd comic piece. Four 'astronauts on a mission to another world encountering aliens. The multi-media production was one shtick after another. Basically what if the Marx Bro. were high tech in modern day and silent but with a rock-n-roll soundtrack. The audience was laughing constantly. There was a moment of 'have they gone too far' when they had roving cameras and were holding up a taxi outside the theatre.

All guns a go! DG****

Dreamers presented by Los Gemelos Lombard
at the Pleasance Courtyard - Beyond

Two identical twin brothers from Argentina giving it their all with Hip-Hop, Tap and singing to a sound track they composed themselves. It's enough to make one sick with envy. The high energy and flawless dance numbers are threaded together with film clips narrating their search for success - Via Buenos Aires, New York, Hollywood and London. Through learning the dances of Michael and Janet Jackson to analysing the scores of Stevie Wonder to landing modeling contracts with Versace.

I had the same feeling when I saw the Caesar Twins last year, that while their talent is amazing, their story, interesting as it is, might seem a little pretentious in this format. DG ****

Saturday at the Fringe

2006-08-19T12:00:00.000+01:00

These are Saturday's Selections

The Family - Semianyki by Teatr Licedei
at Assembly @ St George's West

My time spent with Giovanni Fusetti has given me a love of clowns that I never knew I had before a year ago. So, when my friend Michael Toomey said I must go see the Family, it was the first ticket I booked. This clown troupe from the St. Petersburg, Russia clown school Licedei (founding members included Slava) was an incredibly tight ensemble. Their hour and a half show never lost pace, never failed to deliver laughs and had belly aching moments that lasted for almost an eternity.

The Family consisted of an Alcoholic Father - always threatening to leave; the domineering but doting Mother - always proud when her children get the last laugh; the Eldest Daughter - a hypochondriac; the Youngest Daughter- ever trying to please; the Son- educated but mischievous; and the Baby - always being picked on but incredibly loved.

The show full of music and an amazing soundtrack, had no need for language, because everyone, no matter what their native language has heard that 'Ahem' from there parent across the room to know that it means business. The gags seemed to be non stop - from exploding pianos and breaking furniture to phone calls to the audience. This piece will go down as one of my all time favorites. DG Rating: *****

Painters by Next on Theatre
at the Underbelly - Big Belly

I hadn't booked anything for Saturday afternoon, so I wandered around the main area on the Royal Mile where everyone was touting their shows. I was handed a flyer for Painters and it started at 6. I searched for some reviews to see if it would be worth while. The guide said extreme stunts, amazing acrobatics and set on a building site. Ah why not.

Well, it was worth it for a laugh or two. But wasn't quite the Stunning Spectacle it was supposed to be. The linking story behind the different bits emphasised the need for a good writer. DG Rating ***

Immortal by NoFitState Circus
at the The Space Ship on Leith Walk

I've been searching for performances that take the audience and make them part of the atmosphere. I'm not saying 'Audience participation' because I can't really abide that. But where the Space is all around. The audience is enveloped by the action, the scenery the spectacle. NoFitState Circus is exactly one of those companies that can do just that. Their latest piece Immortal is Fantastic.

There is nothing really new in the aerial acrobatics or dancing or music that singularly you haven't seen before. But, put together with a very sexy design and direction, the result is a total immersion in the roof-top theme. The atmosphere is exhilarating as the audience gets shuffled about because the next act is going to be right where you are standing. The performers are flying above you having conversations about the banal just as the normal person would be shouting across the estate hallway. Spectacle at its best - Strength, beauty, balance and music with a hefty dose of grit. DG Rating*****

Friday at the Fringe

2006-08-18T12:00:00.000+01:00

I am in Heaven... So many choices it's impossible to get them all in! There are so many things I want to see, so many must-sees and then again... so many MUST MISSES. But, here are my Friday selections:

Crunch! by Tangram Theatre Company
at the Pleasance Courtyard - Baby Grand

The teaser is that it's a play about apples. From Adam and Eve to Newton to NYC. It started and I was a little concerned that there were so many children in the audience. And then they started singing... a bit like School House Rock...about gravity. I thought 'Oh No'. But then I started to realise just how cleaver this little piece was and then really started to enjoy it. What started a little on the pedantic side ended with roaring applause and laughter. It wasn't until much later in the day that the creators of this piece were from LeCoq. DG Rating ****

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Slap! by Inside Leg Theatre Company
at the Pleasance Courtyard - Hut

Ok, I might be a little biased because my very good friend Dafydd James is in this and composed the music. But... I don't think so. It is very good. The first review wasn't very good and then there was some controversy about a reviewer that didn't even see the show. But, all that said... I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The inside joke is for anyone who lived and watched MTV in the 80's. The play takes place in the make-up trailer for an 80's rock video and the clash happens as two former friends re-live what broke them apart. It's worth it just for the sappy love song. (Amazing music by Daf). Go see it and you might find out who invented the Mullet! The only real problem is the show needs a larger space. It's shoved off in the back corner of the Pleasance Courtyard in the Hut. ****

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The Pearl by Split Knuckle Theatre Company
at the Hill Street Theatre Studio

So this is the show that made me say, I'm on the right path. All of these performers are very dear to me. We all went to LISPA together and it made me so proud to see them up there today. The adaptation of John Stienbeck's novella is superb! They started this work way back when we were all doing our final projects (in fact I drafted them all to be in mine when theirs finished). Anyway... Their show was good then. But a year on and after spending another month in rehearsal in Argentina the result is a fast paced, slick, exciting, lovely piece of theatre. Eva's final moments are heart wrenching. Greg as Kino is fantastic as he struggles with trusting himself to save his child's life or trusting the outside world. Andrew, Michael and Seth bringing up the Ensemble in multitudes of character's and spaces so defined that they change with a flick of the wrist.

This is a company to watch out for and I'm looking forward to a time that I might be able to collaborate with them. I'm so proud to know them. Truly a highlight of the fringe - Even better when I learned that The Scotsman gave them a 5 Star Review! So how can I argue! *****

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Little Red Things by Gomito Productions
at the Bedlam Theatre

This piece was a delightful find. It was a gamble just based on the flyer, the posting in the fringe guide and walking by the theatre at the right time. Five actors and a pianist tell the fairy tale of where inspiration comes from. Little Red Things come with the rain and are caught by a woman who knows such things. She then distributes them to the towns and villages that need inspiration and creativity. But something happens that the source dries up.

This beautifully crafted tale is told by direct address story telling, constantly shifting simple scenery and amazingly simple but effective puppets. The constantly changing imagery brought chills to my spine with moments of absolute beauty. What could be considered family or children's theatre was full of a twenty-something audience that went wild. What I thought would be received as sappy sentimentalism was met with cheers of joy and delight. DG rating *****

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Now we have the reason that Edinburgh cab drivers are the best in the world. After seeing the last show of the day, I walked all over to find a wine store to take a bottle to dinner with all the LISPA folks. It was pouring down rain so I caught a cab to dinner. And the absent minded me left the bottle on the seat. About half an hour later, Greg looks out of the window and the cab driver is downstairs trying to figure out which flat I went into to return my bottle of wine. I was amazed. Any where else, the cabby would have counted himself lucky to have a bottle.

Well, after that, I had a fantastic time with the cast of the Pearl, Dafydd and Leah from LISPA. A year after leaving school and getting together with class-mates it really only seemed like yesterday that we left each other's company. I'm sure that there will be many many time ahead.

Edingburgh Fringe Festival

2006-08-17T12:00:00.000+01:00

Thursday morning I travelled up to Edinburgh on 'The Flying Scotsman' from King's Cross station. It took about four and a half hours. Winding its way through Peterborough, York and Newcastle, it really is the best way to get there from London. By the time you take the train to the airport which takes almost an hour from home to get there two hours early, the hour and something flight, then getting your luggage and then the cab or bus ride into the city you are already at six or more hours. And you don't get to walk around on the plane.

But - anyway... I stayed with Chris' friend David, the retired judge and his partner Grahame. It was fantastic to spend time with them. I had dinner with them before I went off to a midnight show:

Apollo / Dionysus presented by The Dead Theatre Company at C3

It was sort of an interesting treatise on hypocracy and morality. Beautiful boys, but a little too bombastic on their declamations. They did however pass around a bottle of wine - that is what they didn't pour on their naked bodies. The plant in the audience was a bit of a surprise.

I wasn't quite sure what to expect this being my first fringe show. So... In the DG Rating System I'll give this ***

Superman Pt. III

2006-08-10T08:49:00.000+01:00

WARNING: SAPPY ALERT!

I think, as I have stated, I have a bias towards the man in blue tights. Christopher Reeve was iconic in the role and becoming even more so through his tragedy and heroic real-life presence.

For a ten-year-old boy who knows he’s different, but doesn’t understand the word ‘queer’, Christopher Reeve embodied everything Superman should. Physically. Dashing. Charming. Beautifully muscled. That curly lock plastered to his forehead. I wanted so much to fall in love with the new film as I did all those years ago. And I wanted to be taken with the new actor, Brandon Routh as I was with Reeve.

But something strange happened as I watched the film, Superman Returns. I realised that I was in love with Superman, not the Actor Playing him (that’s another story). When Lois Lane was asked if she was in love with him – her reply was ‘Everyone was in love with Superman. Their reunion on the roof of the Daily Planet suddenly turned me in to a gushing-hopeless-romantic-queer-boy. Ok, I’ve always have been one of those, but it’s a side of me that has been on hiatus for a while.

Superman asks Lois to come with him, that he has something to show her. She looks up into his eyes and suddenly I want to be in her place. I want to be staring up into the big brown eyes of a 6’4’’ muscled titan with perfect skin with lips pouting the perfect smile. I want to be the one to step on to his feet and hold on tight as his Kryptonian genetics raise us from the roof. Ever so slowly that I fail to notice until Metropolis is hundreds of feet below. I miss this fact because he’s staring me in the eyes, lulling me into the oblivion of his baritone voice.

I want to soar through the clouds with his arms around me flying effortlessly above the birds where the noise of humanity is drowned out by the whisper of the air of the heavens. I want to be the one who makes his heart flutter, I want to be the one that Superman would go through Hell for.

I think all of us have that person we think would be the perfect companion. Prince Charming? – I wouldn’t say no. James Dean? Maybe so. But could I possibly be in love with Superman? Absolutely.

Superman Pt. II

2006-08-09T08:38:00.000+01:00

Now, I know many read this with rolling cynical eyes looking at me as a Pollyanna – ‘Life with Superman- ooohhh how Grand!’ But I must tell you; Superman man has been a part of my life for over 30 years. - Watching reruns with George Reeves. - Saturday morning cartoons with the Superfriends. -The endless joy at watching Christopher Reeves on the giant screen. Superman has been part of my conscious state as long as I can remember. The hierarchy of power goes like this: There was God. Jesus. My Father. My Godfather and then Superman. So fifth on the supremacy ladder in a young boy’s life ain’t shabby.

I can’t remember the first time I bought a Superman Comic book. I must have been six or seven. I’ll have to dig through my boxes to find it. I’m sure I still have it. My mother made me a Superman Bed-spread with matching curtains when I was eight. But at ten, shortly after the CR film came out, my parents took me to Canada on a family holiday, where I have hazy memories of many splendid sights. But the deepest memory from that trip is running across a DC Magazine Collector’s Edition of the film. It was in a small drugstore in Banff, Alberta. I would have bought it right then and there but there was only one copy. It was ripped. On the cover no less. I wanted it so badly. Or as the eight year old would have said ‘So Bad!’

But I could not buy it because my copy had to be pristine. For several days while my parents tried to give me culture of Canada, I scoured every drugstore, grocery store, souvenir shop and museum kiosk that could possibly have a magazine rack. But I could not find a single copy. Every day I would go and peruse the tainted copy just to imagine what it would be like to Own. The pharmacist finally took pity. He sold it to me for a discounted price. Pity or just a ruse to oust me from his store. Most likely the latter.

Now I know I still have this extra large magazine, along with the Superman Film trading cards. The Superman films themselves… (However…I must admit, the forth film is a miss…) Action figures and statues. Countless other comic books From Action Comics to Superman one offs. But my pride and joy is my Fossil watch that my former partner, Dale, gave me for our first Christmas together. It has out lasted at least 10 batteries and 4 watchbands.

I think of Superman as my childhood hero… So now at 37 years old, what do I think? He’s still my hero because I sometime think of myself as a 12 year old kid.

Superman Returns

2006-08-07T17:23:00.000+01:00

The following few posts are my musings after seeing the latest film - Superman Returns directed by Brian Singer staring Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth and Keven Spacey. Fantastic Film by the way.

Why does the world need Superman?

A good question. The world is in such turmoil and strife. Heroes are hard to come by. Religions are plentiful and saviours abundant. I’m certainly not devaluing any of those. They however are for the soul. What I’m talking about is the here and now the flesh and blood. The immediate. With Sadaam on trial, bin Laden at large, Hezballah firing their missiles, Bush on his perch at the top of the world making autocratic decisions that send the world reeling daily; it’s a world in need of a Superman.

Somehow life should be lived with a fantasy, to somehow show it as it ought to be – perhaps a little Don Quixote thrown in. To see a world where a person can fly, lift buildings or mountains from their foundations, melt steel with his vision, squelch blazes with his breath, can at the very least inspire us with awe and make us think twice about reality.

The hero that can do these things is one thing, but to achieve these feats with the selflessness of Superman – Helping those who cannot help themselves –is indeed what the Super hero should be about.

Everyday I’m confronted with the fact that if asked for help, most people shy away from it. A while back I was at a bus stop in Hammersmith, where an elderly man fell ill. Fell, literally off the bench on to the pavement. I honestly looked down and thought he had died. Just then, the bus came and the crowd of at least 20 people got on. I am trying to talk to the man and get him to respond, all the while I am bewildered why no one is helping me? Another guy finally joined me, and took over as I spotted a policeman to ask for help.

I was also in a night club about a month ago where another guy was O-D-ing (is that a word?). His legs were giving out and he started convulsing. 60 people turned and stared at him fall and flail around. And then continued to dance. The man tried to get up but was unable to. I went to help him up and to keep him from being trampled but could not carry his weight. I just grabbed the nearest person and yelled ‘Help Me!’ I must have broke the bystander out of his reverie because he obeyed. As we were dragging the man to the side I spotted another bystander looking on, to whom I yelled to go fetch a paramedic.

It’s not that I think I’m a hero. Or looking to receive glory for doing my good deed. I just thought ‘Isn’t this the right thing to do?’ Is it because we do not have the examples? We don’t have the role models? Have we become so cynical to think that the person in dire straights is just not my responsibility? Maybe the world could be a better place if we could look at Superman / Clark Kent were a model to strive for.

Ah Yes... Life Again

2006-07-24T23:54:00.000+01:00

I finished the show this weekend. I'm actually very glad that it is over. It went surprisingly better than I thought it was going to. We still had a lot of work left last week and I felt like it was just too much. But as always, I'm sure that I was being very critical of myself and thus the rest of the piece.

The piece was well received and people enjoyed themselves. I think I was so wrapped up in it that I couldn't quite see all the positive things. Thomas has warned me about becoming a victim of my own perfectionism. Which was definitely the case here. We got good feedback about the images we created and the moods, as well as good feed back on the puppetry.

The critical comments were not surprising. They were things that we had discussed and we all knew so were expecting them. Sometimes almost word for word. So, I guess that proves we were on the right track. All that aside, I'm still glad to have some free time. Working full time and then rehearsal is a bit excruciating.

I plan to spend a few weeks just catching up with friends, go to Edinburgh for the fringe festival and rest.

After than, I'm going to start workshopping Zephyrus Dreams again. As I've said before, I'm itching to get it off the ground.

Mile End

2006-07-17T11:23:00.000+01:00

This is the info for the show that I've been working on; We open Thursday night.

What If?

2006-07-01T20:43:00.000+01:00

I'm 37 years old. Some say I look much younger. I'm grateful for that. I usually reply 'you should see the portrait in the closet...' some people get it. Sometimes I feel my age. Sometimes I feel like a kid of 12. Sometimes I feel like I'm back at 26. But most of the time I feel young. Young, in this case is an indefinable word. I'm just young. I'd rather sit on the floor at a party. I'd rather run up the escalator than ride. I'd rather stay up late than get up early.

I look back at when I truly was 'Young'. What was I then? Much more insecure. Much more impatient. Much more judgmental. Much more prejudiced against everything. Much more naive. And..very much in the closet. Life consisted of trying to figure out what do all these feelings that I have inside mean? It was a long and arduous process but I think that somehow...by the grace of God, I came through.

I just finished reading an AMAZING book by David Levithan called Boy Meets Boy. It's a teen fiction book that won the Lambda literary Award several years ago. It is what I would have wanted my teenage years to be like. What if everyone had accepted the fact I was gay when they first suspected it, which was long, long before I even thought about uttering out the words 'I Am Gay'?

Paul, is a kid in high school who was the first openly gay third grade president. He's in a high school where kids are accepting of the star quarterback who happens to be a drag queen. It's also a place where 'Hey Gay Boy!' is a term of endearment. God, I wish that was my high school experience. Paul finds a boy named Noah and we embark on a story of teenage romance. It's the typical Finds -Loses - Gets story, but this time its fresh for me because in a way it's My Utopia.

The world certainly isn't this way, but isn't it nice to dream? I look back at my excruciating teen-hood and think... When did I actually go through my adolescence? I was 26 years old. I just came out. I was able to have crushes openly then. I should have had them when I was 12 and 13. I had my first true broken heart when I was 26. I should have been 15. I had my first horrid break up I was 28. I wish I had gone through that at the age most straight kids go through them... 16. I don't regret a solitary day of my struggle and torment as it has made me who I am today. I believe I am much more patient, tollerant and able to deal with so many different types of people because of it.

But, I can't help wondering what life would have been like if I could have taken my boyfriend...whoever he might have been to my high school prom?

Sunday In The Park With George

2006-06-22T18:47:00.000+01:00

Last night Chris and I went to see the revival of Stephen Sondheim's Sunday in the Park with George playing at Wyndham's Theatre. It was the production that started off at the Menier Chocolate Factory. One so small and only meant for a short run that Sondheim himself had no idea that it was being done. It wasn't until a friend of his called him and said 'You must see this production!' that he even knew of its existence.

It was after that and the great success there, that it was transferred to the west end. The stage is a large white room with a solid bare back wall with 3 sets of doors on each side of the stage. This is then transformed into an amazing spectacle of colour and light, of drawings and paintings, the Island of La Grande Jatte in Paris in 1886, to Chicago a hundred years later. All done with computer generated projections.

The very first image when George says 'composition' is a giant artist's charcoal line being scratched from one side of the stage to the other. Absolutely thrilling and chilling!

I've seen other computer generated scenery that just didn't work. Most notably was Andrew Lloyd Webber's Woman in White where I felt like I was inside a computer game. This however was breathtaking.

The final song of act one, where George is placing all the characters in place to become Seurat's Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte became one of the most beautiful and moving events I've ever experienced in the theatre. Tears were streaming down my face brought on by the sheer melding of experience. Light, Sound, Spectacle and Music. Chris asked me what was wrong, a little puzzled that 'Beauty' could make me cry (tho, many who know me, understand that I'm just a sap).

Daniel Evans as George and Jenna Russell as Dot/Marie did well to make me forget Patinkin and Peters.

La de da

2006-06-21T10:16:00.000+01:00

When ever we think that things are settling down, the universe decides to set things on it's ear. I have been fortunate that I'm working. A lot. Pretty much full time.

I've also been rehearsing. A Lot. So I tend to eat dinner traditionally between tube stations and work or rehearsal. I feel like there is no time to just relax. Oh well. If I wasn't busy, I'd be complaining that I was bored.

The show is going well. - I think. - Sometimes I think that it has the potential to be very bad. Which is not good on the motivational scale. Monday night night was one of them. For three hours we struggled to devise basically the opening scene of the show. Nothing was working. Everyone seemed to run out of ideas at the same time.

But then, sometimes we have amazing break-throughs. Or things come together rather quickly. And it's at that point that I think, hey we really have something. We open a month from now. So much left to do.

The Itch

2006-06-01T21:38:00.000+01:00

I'm starting to dream again. Both sleeping and waking.

Last night's must have been a doozy because it woke me up (I can never really remember dreams once I've awaken). Either that or I was sleep walking. I thought...I'm awake now, I have to pee. So I got up. Walked to the door and I must have dreamt that it was open because I walked right into it. That's what truly woke me up. My head hitting the hard panel.

The waking dreams are more pleasant. I'm itching to get back to work on Zephyrus. I'm now searching for help producing it. I've started dreaming of new things and aspects to put into the show. It must be time to do it because all of the months spent just trying to get back to England and Get settled and do the partnership thing, I wasn't being creative. But teaching and working again have really set the bug.

The creative muse is working.... I'm just trying to find the business muse. Any Ideas?

When Last We Met...

2006-05-31T07:45:00.000+01:00

So, the thing at the National... well, lets say that it was a good experience. I didn't get it. Heaven knows what they were looking for. The people I told about it are all really gutted for me. That's ok... I'm disappointed but if I'm not capable of handling rejection by now I'm definitely in the wrong business. Besides... it was nothing a pint down at the pub couldn't sweep under the carpet. Actually, I was very pleased to be even be considered. It sounds like a great project. One of the Advanced course students got in as well as my friend Li Leng, but she has other commitments.

My time at LISPA teaching the Initiation Course has been utterly fantastic. I've had a blast! They are a great group of movers and their willingness to play and create is astounding. I do believe they have a ways to go on story construction but hey... that's what next year's for.

They all seemed to enjoy the class and were asking for more. I've spent time with some after class and they are very eager to learn. I suddenly had a thought that they were all crazy because I just looked at myself and saw a big kid who likes to play with stuff and make other stuff and... Well, who is this person? Thomas has been very encouraging and has some amazing ideas for continuing the teaching in the fall. We will meet later to determine what that all looks like.

Teaching is something that I never really set out to do. I did it in Denver because I could. Here,I do it because I believe in the work and as they say, what better way to learn something than to teach it?

On Saturday, I went with Li Leng to see Aurelia's Oratorio. I saw it a year ago and it had a huge impact on my piece 'Zephyrus Dreams'. It was the same amazing show of fantastic and bizarre images.

With not getting the National gig, teaching and seeing this show, I'm getting very hungry to get Zephyrus back up on its feet. To really create the show that I wasn't able to do at LISPA because of lack of money and space and time. So, I'm starting to figure out how I can get a producer on board. Don't have any concrete ideas about that but I think that is the next step.

I went to see Mike Leigh's Two Thousand Years last night at the National. He was commissioned to create a play with an ensemble of actors. The script was written out of their improvisation as he does in his film work. His program notes state that this is his 'Jewish Play'. It centred around a Middle-Class non-religious Jewish Family in Criklewood who's son decides to start taking up praying. Their daughter starts dating an Israeli and the Aunt has been off the radar for 11 years. All under the auspices of Middle eastern news and London Terrorist Bombings. I enjoyed it very much, and it was a thought provoking piece even though the Yiddish that was thrown in sometimes left me wondering what insult had just been made.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-23T11:58:00.000+01:00

Madonna clearly has issues from her childhood experience of religion which still need to be worked through...

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor,

Leader of Catholics in England and Wales

In response to being told of the lastest incarnation of Madonna being hung on a mirrored cross in her latest tour.

Asking for Possitive Thoughts!

2006-05-22T17:22:00.000+01:00

I got a call today to informing me that Handspring Puppet Company in conjunction with The National Theatre is holding interviews for company members. They are embarking an a long-term project to be performed at the National sometime in 2007. They've asked me to come in and talk with them. The purpose being that they will start a three week workshop in June.

Handspring is one of the companies that I researched heavily when I was building my puppets last year. I've actually considered travelling to South Africa to visit this particular company.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...?

2006-05-20T19:08:00.000+01:00

MSNBC Article...

Religious liberals gain visibility

Busy Week

2006-05-19T23:02:00.000+01:00

What a week! It's been full from the weekend. Saturday I rehearsed all day for Mile End and then did a Scratch Night on Sunday at the Battersea Arts Centre. We showed a portion of what we've been working on to get feedback from the audience. Scratch nights are an interesting concept that I'd not really come across before. I've seen a few since being here in London. But the idea to show ideas or snipits of concepts and get feed back is great. Sometimes the work in progress is really good and shows lots of potential while others you wish never saw the light of day. We got some very constructive criticism. It was helpful, because of the varied background of us as creators.

While not working almost full time at Credit Suisse, I had some time to have a night life. This week, I saw two films, MI3 which is the usual fair of action adventure. I'm not sure I like Tom Cruise, but I have to say, he's got one hell of an agent, because the production quality on of his films is top rate, well made and entertaining. And, on top of that his co-stars are some of the best actors around. So what ever you think of Cruise really doesn't matter, because there will always be something else to hold your attention.

Brick was the other film. A murder mystery film in a modern high school told in a film noir style (but shot in colour). Apparently it opened in the States a while back, but just recently hit the UK. The dialogue was fantastic. Very stylised. Joseph Gordon-Levitt from Third Rock From the Sun played the fearless and obvious glutton for punishment protagonist. Very intriguing film, tho not for the constitutionally challenged. The rest of the cast to my surprise are al veteran actors that have been acting for years and years but only now reached the age of 26. Did I mention I hate child actors that are actually good? Lucas Haas and Emilie de Ravin both giving very disturbing performances.

Tuesday night, Chris and I went to see the RSC's production of The Crucible at the Gielgud. It's one of the best that I've seen of Miller's play. I'd almost forgotten how maddening it is to watch. You sit there and watch a community go absolutely insane over the accusations of witchcraft. As an outsider you watch fundamentalism go rampant. Obviously a parable written with McCarthyism in mind, it still has relevance today - with racism, homophobia, Iraq, and Right-Wing politics.

The highlight of my week however was teaching at LISPA. I've said before, but this is a great group of students. Very committed to playing. Open to improvisation and creativity. They have a willingness to just 'Go for it'.

I'll be very interested to see where it goes from here.

Teaching at LISPA

2006-05-12T23:50:00.000+01:00

I taught my first class today at LISPA. Thomas had asked me a while back to come in to help the Initiation Course students prepare for their 'Investigations'. So, I went in to start a 5 lesson course on 'The Creative Use of Objects'.

Ever since our first meeting I've been mulling what I would teach over and over in my mind. My ideas for teaching have mostly to do with construction. How to construct simple but creative 'Things' that will help tell a story, or give an image or what ever. But this is somehow different. How does one manipulate a ready made object or what can be used to tell a story.

So, I walked in this morning to find a class full of very eager, very energetic and very diverse group. Ok, there was a huge Latin contingent all of which have names I can't pronounce. This doesn't help the fact that I'm horrible with names. I kept haveing to ask them to repeat them because I couldn't get it. Just as I learn them the class will be over!

They are a great group of movers and I was very impressed with their willingness to play. I started with a game of Tag. The Idea being that to use 'things' creatively we need to start looking at them like children would. I then had them manipulate there bodies into the alphabet. Both solo then in pairs. The lesson ended with manipulation of a stick. This being the hardest concept to grasp much less teach. We'll continue that next week.

The Movie In My Mind

2006-05-12T09:20:00.000+01:00

Last night, as I was coming home from work, I had shoved in my ears two tiny speakers connected to my Ipod. To commuters, this is not at all unusual. I wish I owned stock. I see hundreds of people every day with music piping into their brains.

Most look like they are using them to escape the reality of what ever is going on around them. But I as emerged from Clapham Common tube station my ''Theme Song'' started playing as if on cue to play the movie montage of my life.

'Let the Joy Rise' started its thump as I felt the evening sun hit. Hundreds of people scattered in their own direction - mine? Home across the Common...

People from all walks of life were enjoying the sun and the open space. Children laughing and running. A-Level-ers playing football still with their school ties on. Lovers, readers, sleepers, Revellers, all living life. Simple but joyful.

I started to think how lucky and blessed I am. I'm here... In London - the city that I've always wanted to live in. It's my Home. I am working now, making a decent wage. I've started back to working creatively as well. Rehearsals for a show. And to top it all off... I'm starting to teach today at LISPA. In 2 hours in fact. So... I won't say I'VE ARRIVED because there is always somewhere to go in personal betterment...

But -Man! Life is Good and Thank God for it!

The Sultan's Elephant - Day 4

2006-05-08T23:19:00.000+01:00

On Sunday, I caught up with the little girl as she was taking a walk in the park.

Then it was time to stop and do some exercises....
And how 'bout those deep knee bends...And the how's about a little nap?
I left the Little Girl iin St. James' Park and went for a wander on my own. I found that during the night, she had displayed her penchant for sewing and did a number on a couple of cars at the bottom of Regent Street.

Meanwhile, up on Piccadilly Street, the Elephant is waking up from his nap.

I watched with some friends as thousands of people made their way down Regent Street to catch another glimps of the Elephant. The streets were so packed that when it came by it pushed everyone aside... we had thoughts of trying to stay ahead of it but it was almost like the Running of the Bulls. It clears the crowd with a blast of water from it's trunk
Entering into the Horse Guard's Parade area for the Grand Finale
Part of the Sultan's Entourage giving a show Saying Good Bye!

The Little Girl is placed back into the Time Machine

Time Travel at its best!
Taking a Bow! There were 43 Red Coats (at least) If the crowd wasn't already on their feet, it would have been an instant Standing Ovation.
Saying Good Bye to London.

The Sultan's Elephant - Day 3

2006-05-08T22:48:00.000+01:00

After working at Credit Suisse til 3:00a.m. on Friday night, I awoke Saturday with the insane curiousity of what I would miss if I were to stay in bed... I just couldn't have it. So... Off to find the Elephant and the Little Girl.

I found the Elephant as it was starting it's tour of the city...

The amazing technical aspects: The controller for the Left Front Leg (suspended from it's belly on a chair)

The posterior passing the arches of St. Jame's Palace on Marlborough Road

Turning the courner on to Piccadilly Street

The sureal moment realising the Elephant's balconies blend in with the street...

The Little Girl arrives at Trafalgar Square for the official greeting by the Deputy Mayor of London. Where's Ken? Trafalgar Square...Amy is somewhere in the sea... Oh... and the Sultan too!

Royal de Luxe and The Sultan's Elephant

2006-05-06T10:24:00.000+01:00

This is the Coolest thing I've ever seen!

This Weekend, London was invaded by the French theatre company Royal de Luxe. Posters for The Sultan's Elephant started appearing sporadically around the city months ago. However, no explanation was given. Then last week I saw one picture of a massive mechanical elephant in the streets of Nantes, France. I was hooked. With my interest in over-sized puppets and the fact that I am indeed a 12-year-old kid I spent the entire weekend chasing this thing all over London.

The Sultan's Elephant is based on the short story by Jules Verne. The piece was commissioned by the cities of Nantes and Amiens for the 100th anniversary of Verne's death.

_____________________

Day 1

So, Thursday.... In Waterloo Place just down from Regent's Street mysteriously there appears...

A time capsule

The pavement has been torn and embedded in the ground is the giant bomb-like thing.

Day 2

Emerging out of the time capsule is the 5 meter tall ''Little Girl'' (helped by a crane of course)

Going for a stroll down Pall Mall

Meanwhile over at the Horse Guard's Parade The Sultan's Elephant is asleep. This thing is HUGE. Up under the canopy, is one of the entourage turning a roast pig on a spit (yes, it was real). The Elephant can be seen breathing - its massive stomach is moving...

The Little Girl meets the Elephant and the Sultan

This trunk can lift a tonne...

They start to go for a wander...

Back to Rehearsal

2006-05-01T11:12:00.000+01:00

I'm a firm believer in the Ecclesiastical proverb: A person can do nothing better than eat, drink and enjoy their work. We work so hard to entertain a certain quality of life. Sometimes that work is harder than others. Sometimes the work is absolutely nothing we'd really want to do and then other times we are doing exactly what we want to be doing.

So, the question is, when you're not doing what you want to be doing, how do you truly enjoy the work? I think the answer is - Remember why you're doing it.

This last week has been interesting... going back to the bank. The hours have been ok - 6:00p.m. to 3:00a.m. I'm a night person anyway, but it's been everyday. So, my social life is... well... nil. The work isn't to hard and in fact tolerable. Definitely not my career choice. But, I'm doing this because a) I have to and b) it allows me the flexibility and income to do what I really want to do. Which is create and act and perform.

I started rehearsal on Thursday for Mile End. It was the first time since the clown workshop in October that I've been in a creative space doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It was fantastic! I'm working with Lootie again and the two directors Hannah and Liam. There is also another LISPA -ite (or would it be LISPian?) Jen, who is in her first year. We spent the day talking about what they wanted to achieve out of the show and why we were doing it and how and it felt so good to be moving again.

So, even tho I was exhausted from working the night before from doing a rather tedious job, I am thankful for it. I could be back in a city that doesn't have anything going on or stuck in a job that doesn't allow me to do anything creative outside. But the best part about it all, is there is a great group of people in both sides of my 'work'. The banking side who look at me sort of like the odd-man out... you know the quirky anomaly that everyone doesn't quite know what to do with, but would miss it if it weren't there. And the creative side that - we are all schelpping away at what ever just to be afforded the opportunities outside.

Work Work Work

2006-04-26T12:28:00.000+01:00

I started back to work last night. Oi! I went in at 6p.m. hoping to be eased into the process. I mean after all I've been away from the bank for six months. But no... I was thrown right in to the thick of things. So, when I thought I'd have a night or two to even remember where things are - I was given a booking with a banker. Ah! No Problem!

Since CSFB dropped the FB (First Boston) to become Credit Suisse, there's all this re-branding that has gone on. The presentations I work on have new stuff, not a lot, but some. Thank God I still remember how to type. 3:00 a.m. came all too quickly. Now, all I have to do is get used to the schedule again.

My goal is to work mostly days there and a few nights. This week is all nights. Definitly won't be able to do that constantly. By Saturday, I will not have seen Chris since Monday night - and we share a bed.

Good News!

2006-04-25T11:58:00.000+01:00

Sunday afternoon, still jet-lagged, I went to my first audition here in London. It was with a new Company called Analogue. They are working on a devised piece called Mile End based on the tragedy that happened there in 2002. The auditions were for puppeteers and co-creators. I guess that would be a good way to put it.

Well, I just got the email asking me to be a part of the project. I think this will be a fantastic jumping off point. To be able to work on stage and create different types of puppets. They are very interested in the Banraku style of puppetry.

Check out some of these links. These are some amazing clips of banraku

Matrix Pingpong
Horror Film

These are just some other fun clips
Chimpreporter
Basketball
Fourseasons
Mona Lisa
World Travel
???????
School Hall

Holiday in Chicago

2006-04-25T00:52:00.000+01:00

Last week, Chris and I flew to Chicago for a Holiday. Very much needed. Chris because work has been rough and me because I hadn't had a proper holiday in over a year. We stayed with my old friends Jason and Jason. Or rather, the Dr. and J. Complicated I know.

After flying all day Friday on AA, the only thing we could manage was dinner at a Mexican restaurant and bed. Saturday, was spent walking around Boystown with Breakfast at IHOP. Chris was in heaven. American portions for breakfast are insane! That evening was going to my old haunts - Roscoes and Sidetrak. The weather was beautiful! I actually got sunburned - a far cry from freezing London. Sunday's big event was Showtunes at Sidetrak.

The Ironic thing was that Chris is forever saying I'm such a queen that I like musicals. He's the one that did a back flip when I suggested spending the afternoon with Frozen daiquiris and Judy, Liza, Julie, Bette and Patti!

The rest of the week was spent going round Chicago. The typical tourist stuff, Michigan Ave.,Navy Pier, the Loop, the L, Millennium Park (twice), The Art Institute. It was a fantastic week.

I got to see a lot of old friends, Will, Tommy at Sidetrak, the Js, Ernie, and Stephen - Val by Phone. I spent an afternoon going to the Chase (Bank One when I worked for them) to see old friends there - Marcia and James (crazy as ever). Even had Lunch with my boss Christine. She's doing very well. A bunch of my colleagues now have children and many of them have moved on to other banks since the merger with Chase. I missed several people because it was so hard to catch everyone.

I subjected Chris to four dinners of Mexican and even breakfast at Ann Sathers.

The theatre circuit was hit as well. The Mamet Festival is going on at the Goodman and we saw two one acts. Mamet, as usual takes a lot of energy to keep up with and even more to care. Not the best in entertainment. We also saw Urinetown at the Mercury Theatre which was fun. My friend Stephen Rader is in a Concert Showcase of Judy Garland doing all the music from her Carnegie Hall Concert. Some amazing performances there.

The highlight of the trip however was getting to see Wicked! It was Fantastic!!!! Chicago now has a resident company. It was everything that this Showtune Singing Queer boy could ever want in a musical. Wizard of Oz meets modern Tech and Darkness. Those of you who know me will not be surprised that I cried at all the sappy parts and was drooling over the design.

While it was good to go on holiday, getting home and having proper sleep was much appreciated. London is very much my home, however, if I ever have to move back to the states - Chicago would probably be where I would land.

The Dreamer and the Hill

2006-04-24T00:15:00.000+01:00

I ran across this poem I wrote several years ago when I was quite ill. As I'm looking at life now and realizing things are looking very well, I thought it was more than coincidence to find it. Life is good.

Enjoy.

The Dreamer And The Hill

I saw upon that hill
Over there. A place
Where once a little boy played.
An ordinary boy this was.
Playful yet shy.
Bold among friends and
Timid around strangers.
Or maybe it was the other way around.

This Place I saw
The playground of this child
Was a wondrous place
Of Magic and Myth.

On holidays it became
The spot where Santa stood
And Cupid Flew,
Where George and Abe
Had their birthday feast.

Fireworks sparkled,
Pumpkins danced with Goblins
And Pilgrims dined with Indians.

This hill was also Wonderland,
Sherwood Forest, and Camelot
A palace for the Samurai,
And a home for Magic Puff.

Don't forget the circus tent,
A helicopter and a submarine,
And theFerriss wheel that were
built upon its peak

Masquerades and Broadway plays
Were staged within its boundaries.

The Little Boy had help of course
In all the transformations.
Nickels and Dimes and Dollars given
By family. Not to buy the sweets
And toys so easily accepted
Of one this boy's stature.

But, No. The goods brought home
Were boxes of crayons, colored papers
And glue or string and paints
And all sorts of tape.

"Gifted" they called him at an early age,
Turning boxes into castles and ladles into trees

This Hill was just the starting place
For such a grand adventure,
For as the boy grew
His imagination grew as well.
The Hill expanded and became a world
For the young man now to explore.

Remembering the tools of youth
He set his sights afar.
Always trusting that imagination
and perseverance were all he needed
to conquer worlds that he's created.

But wait, there's more Universe out there
That our hero didn't realize.
The trials of life rarely succumb
To string and tape and glue.

You see for all his life
Our boy knew that he was special
For his mother always told him so.
If this is so, then why does "different"
Suddenly become bad?

What makes him special also sets him apart,
A distance that other's admiration cannot mask
For what was once Adventure is now a trial
And what was Voyage is now - Life.

In his youth he realized
As most artists do
That creation out of Passion

Is in itself destruction.
To create the David or the Venus

The Sculptor must first destroy
The block of stone that God has given,
Rough marble must be hewn.

And such is Life
The form of wax must first give way
To allow the Bronze to harden.
The molding of Parents love
And teacher's guidance are only the first steps.

I started out to write this tale
Of a child that is unchanging,
To show the world that
"I am Me!"
The same boy that you once knew.

But no.
But know, I'm much better now.
Much stronger and much wiser.
But the Heart's the same,
The same dreamer and believer
As the Little Boy, who,
Upon that hill once played.

Darren Goad
January 29, 2001

Life is Good!

2006-04-11T21:00:00.000+01:00

So... Lots of people including myself talk about how hard it is to get things done here in London. Usually the trend in America is that you make a list of 12 things to do in a day and you probably will get 9 or 10 of them done. My lists in London tend to be 2 items per day with the usual quota per day might be .75 accomplishment.

Also, government red tape tends to make things go quite slowly.

However... I was very impressed how smoothly things ran last Thursday when I went to the home office in Croydon. This was quite a shock considering the day before it took 4 hours just to print off the application. But, I got there at 10:30 but by 4:00 in the afternoon I had my residency permit!

So... I'm Legal!!!!

Also, the Kitchen is almost finished. I've finished tiling and grouting and am just waiting on one more piece of travertine to arrive. Then just painting the walls and then we're finished!!!!! Chris is ecstatic. We've been living in rubble for so long.

Monday, I called and left a message for my former boss at CSFB t o see if I could come back to work there in the PresTech department. On Tuesday I got a call saying YES come back. They have lost the last two letters and are now just Credit Suisse. So, I will start there on the Monday that I get back from Chicago.

Oh, by the way. Chris is taking me to Chicago on Friday. He's never been. I've got lots of friends there that I haven't seen in several years. London has been sooooo cold that Spring has arrived in Name Only. It will be very good to go where it's a bit warmer.

I also start teaching at LISPA in May. I will be teaching the first years for a couple of weeks on the Creative Use Of Objects. I am very excited about this. It will be a sort of pre-curser to what I will be teaching next year. Thomas has asked that I prepare them for their final project - their ''Investigations''. I'm sure that this is definitely the next step in the adventure.

Other notes:

Sunday after noon, I went to the Sound Theatre and saw Musical, the Musical of Musicals - the Musical. It was a fantastic Pastiche or send up of the musical theatre genre. They basically took the simple story of the evil land-lord demanding the rent of the ingenue. The hero somehow finds a way of paying for her. There's also a ''Mrs Madrigal" type character.

Then, in five different genres they tell the same story. In the styles of Rogers and Hammerstien, Stephen Sondheim, Jerry Herman, Andrew Lloyd Webber and finally Kander and Ebb. It wasn't the send up like Forbidden Broadway where the music is the same ripped off with different words, but this music was just similar enough to remind you yes this could have been written by so and so...

Monday morning I got up early to go queue up for the special 10pound tickets to see Kathleen Turner and Bill Irwin in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Chris and I sat in the front row. It was an amazing performance by both. It's no wonder the Irwin won the Tony last year for playing George. His physicallity was amazing. Definitely the clown. I've seen the show several times and even helped in production, but this was the first time that I could actually appreciate the play. No wonder that it is among the Holy Cannon of American Theatre.

So... Off to Chicago on Friday.

Wish Me Luck!

2006-04-06T09:00:00.000+01:00

Spending the day in Croydon at the Home Office. Applying for Further Leave to Remain. It's one of those British oximorons which I just can't grasp yet.

One can only hope that British red tape goes as fast as American...At least I know what I'm in for.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes.

Believe Me...I'm trying to keep up!

2006-03-30T00:48:00.000+01:00

So, I know that I've been very lax in keeping this blog updated. The issue at hand is... I'm trying to get the kitchen done.

I'm to the point where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I tiled the floor yesterday and today and will grout it tomorrow. The counter tops are almost done to be finished tiling tomorrow. Then... plaster and paint the walls and ceiling. Then... woo hoo!!! the kitchen is done!

I've found out that living here in London, one needs to have a sense of distance. Thomas would say that the actor must maintain a distance from the mask to stay sane.. er...his words... be healthy in the character.

Last Thursday, the electrician came to install the Oven and a new wall outlet. It took six hours because of the dodgy wiring from the previous renovations back in the 80's.

The plumber also came to install the gas hob (that would be stove to you in America) and the sink and taps. Well, he was only her two hours. He was to come back to fix the connections for the washer and also remove two pipes sticking out of the floor from where a non-existant radiator would be. Well....

On monday, I thought that I needed to get on to the flooring so I ripped up the boards and got ready to cut off the pipes since the plumber said I could use the stops that I'd used when I removed the sink. The fun begins. I turned off the boiler and the water and began cutting the pipe. I never realised that the heating system is under pressure. Water stars geysering all over my kitchen. Water is starting to leak down to the neighbors below.

I finally drain the pipes and start again. I get one quick stop on and it's brillian. The second has a tough time. It goes on and I shut back up the floor. Lay down the under layer of masonite and then prime it. I remember then that I should turn back on the boiler. I then get another frantic knock on the door from the down stairs neighbor saying water is coming through again!

The second quick stop can't deal with the pressure of the boiler. I quickly shut off the water, try to relieve the pressure and start ripping up the floorboards. I call the plumber to see if he can come immediately. Well, I have to wait til after five, but at least he's coming.

Then... It's just getting good.

Martin the plumber comes, I tell him of the fiasco's and he said it happens. He fixes the stop that doesn't work and goes on to the other tasks. I think 'oh... I might as well put back down the floor boards and the masonite while he's working. I nail it all back down. I've told the neighbors that the plumber has fixed the leak and all is well.

Martin finishes his job and goes to turn back on the boiler and water. Then, for the third time that day, I hear another frantic knock at the door. It's the neighbors and water is flooding through their ceiling again. We kill the water, and I start ripping up the floor for the third time and come to find out, I had put two nails through two pipes.

Smart eh?

I started swearing all the words my mother told me not to use. Thank God Martin was still there. Chris came home to find me in a state of utter shock at my own stupidity and to me informing him that he was taking me to dinner. Once Martin finished it was to the only Mexican restaurant that I know where a pitcher of Margaritas was promptly finished off!

In Mourning

2006-03-30T00:45:00.000+01:00

My father emailed this to me today. I had to publish it.

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.......

Shut up. You know it's funny.

Anonymous

Ceremonies, Friends, Kilts and Scones!

2006-03-20T08:27:00.000Z

So, The Big weekend was a success! The official ceremony at the registrar's office in Wandsworth was very low key. Chris' friends David and Graeme came down from Scotland to be with us and David was a witness. My friend Li Leng joined me to be my witness. In a matter of ten minutes we had all signed the registry and Chris and I became officially partners.

Afterwards, we came back to the flat to show of the work in progress. That morning, we had hired a car to go pick up the tile we bought for the kitchen and take the old kitchen cabinets, kitchen sink and all to the dump (oddly enough, just about 200 meters beyond where the registry office was). Romantic innit?

The five of us piled in a cab and off to dinner. While Chris took David and Graeme back to their hotel, Li Leng and I headed off to see Tess Nicholson (a classmate of mine) in a Sarah Kane play that was closing. It was a nice cheery play about suicide. Not what I had in mind for my wedding day, but hey, this whole thing is quite non-traditional. Quite a full day.

Saturday, we collected David off to the Cadogan Hotel for high tea. I love high tea! I had to forgo the cucumber sandwiches for obvious green reasons, but scones, jam and clotted cream are one of the most scrumpcious things in life! Oi! I could die right there and be completely satiated.

Our party on Sunday was a great success as well. Probably around 30 people came by the Duke of Wellington for a pint or two. I promised everyone that we would be in Kilts. Getting there, we went by Tube. I shouldn't be surprised, but you'd think that people would have seen a kilt before. We were heckled at least 4 times on the way. As Chris put it, it is sad when people chose to show their own stupidity (ok, the homeless guy on Old Compton St. was heckling everyone so I shouldn't feel special).

And apparently it was too cold for Chris the true Scot to go 'True Scot'. I on the other hand didn't know any better and felt the one degree weather in all its glory.

All in all it was a fantastic weekend. Spending time with Graeme and David is always an extreme pleasure, and having all our other friends around was fantastic.

I'll post pictures as soon as I get them.

Invitation to Party!

2006-03-01T18:01:00.000Z

Chris McMillan and Darren Goad

would like to invite you
to join in celebration of their

Civil Partnership

Sunday 12 March 2006
2:00 to 6:00 p.m.
Upstairs
at the

Duke of Wellington Pub
Wardor Street Just North of Shaftsbury Avenue in Soho

Across from the Queen's Theatre (Les Mis) stage door

Dress: Casual to Fancy as you Dare!

Kilts Encouraged!